Bradley Walsh’s Instagram is the best thing since Phillip Schofield’s Snapchat

Bradley Walsh, with his hosting of The Chase abilities; Bradley Walsh, giggling at questions with sexually suggestive answers like a teenage boy laughing at a FIFA Youtuber who’s just done something totally random (remember a time when Youtubers weren’t doing controversial stuff like selling advent calendars for £50 or laughing at dead bodies in Japan’s suicide forest? A simpler time); Bradley Walsh, with his cheeky Essex charm, like your Dad embarrassing you in front of your mates. But it’s okay, because you love your Dad. Bradley Walsh is your Dad. Bradley Walsh is the King of Instagram.

Bradley Walsh: King of Instagram

Bradley Walsh is a man, a deity, best known for hosting ITV teatime quiz show The Chase, starring in Law and Order: UK (set in the United Kingdom of Bradley Walsh) and Coronation Street (named after the coronation of King Bradley Walsh), as well as releasing an album of jazz and swing covers that went on to be 2016’s bestselling debut album, outselling the likes of Zayn ‘I’m a Artist’ Malik and Jack ‘I Have a Beard’ Garratt.

Bradley Walsh, like us bloody millennials, has an Instagram account. But unlike us bloody millennials and our insistence on ruining this country with our love of meal deals and avocados, Bradley Walsh is killing it on Instagram. Like, he’s well and truly the best thing about Instagram. You may as well delete your own Instagram because I don’t care about it, I’m only on there for Bradley Walsh and Bradley Walsh alone.

Look at your Instagram. Now look at Bradley Walsh’s Instagram. Now delete your Instagram. Now create another Instagram account and use it exclusively to watch, like, and just generally bask in the most Insta of Instagrams, a Gram in its purest form of Insta.

Bradley Walsh: Lover of Videos

Of the thirty-eight posts made by @bradderswalsh, 29 of them are videos. Now I may be guilty of rehashing old material when it comes to my work (my housemate described my articles as “a little heavy on The Chase”), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, or as a student landlord would say, ‘if it is broke don’t fix it and charge the tenant for it out of their deposit’.

Bradley Walsh is really pushing it with his content, with most posts revolving around the idea that a) Bradley Walsh is on his way to work very early in the morning and is happy about it (???), and b) his driver is also happy about it (???), and they are having a great time listening to music very loudly.

But do you know what? I don’t mind that. You could quite happily sit and watch Bradley Walsh shouting into his phone in the early hours of the morning, in the back of a car, gesturing to his driver Joey to turn up the music, and then unashamedly singing along to said music like a drunk girl in the back of an Uber. Topical music based on the day or current events is a refreshing twist on the format, with singalongs to Shania Twain’s ‘Man! I Feel Like a Woman!’ for International Women’s Day and ‘Dakota’ by Stereophonics on St. David’s Day, as well as a lovely piano interlude on his day off. It’s like Carpool Karaoke but THERE’S NO JAMES CORDEN. He also gets dressed up.

Bradley Walsh: Quite Clearly Olly Murs’ Dad

Bradley Walsh is quite clearly Olly Murs’ Dad (in my humble opinion).

Bradley Walsh: Lover of Donald Trump Impressions

Bradley Walsh loves getting dressed up. Now, this is the point in #journalism where we talk about Donald Trump. Big ol’ Donny Trump, the only thing worse than muscle fit clothing, President of the United States of Bradley Walsh. You know him? Well Bradley Walsh does an absolutely dead-on impression of Donald Trump.

I’m not talking an impression you do after a couple of drinks where it sounds alright in your head so you start talking, before quickly realising that it is a horrible impression and you have to slip back into your own voice, confidence shot, dignity lost, a moment that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

Your friends remind you of it regularly. “Hey”, they’ll say, “Remember when you tried to do that Donald Trump impression and it wasn’t very good, you bloody loser? Haha, you wanna check out Bradley Walsh’s impression on Instagram, it’s so much better than yours”. That’s what your friends will say.

That’s because your friends have seen Bradley Walsh’s Instagram, because Bradley Walsh is the King of Instagram, because Bradley Walsh can do an impression of Donald Trump, because he can wear a wig, and it won’t be shit. Not like your impression. Your impression was shit.

Bradley Walsh: Our Dad

Bradley Walsh will one day be the only account on Instagram. In a Black Mirror style post-apocalyptic world where our sole purpose in life is to take photos and post them online with the Sepia filter, Bradley Walsh will rule.