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Everything you’ll know if you grew up in Northumberland

Hogwarts baby


Northumberland, the jewel of the North East. After Ant and Dec. And Chloe from Geordie Shore. And all those incredibly Instagram-able photos of the River Tyne.

Though Northumberland is a jewel nonetheless. The home of numerous castles, World Cup winners Bobby and Jack Charlton, and Hogwarts, Northumberland is a county with a rich vein of history.

However, growing up in Northumberland is a whole different story. Whether it be having to pretend you’re from Newcastle, the struggles of getting home after a night out, or dealing with the fact that you essentially live in one big episode of Countryfile, Northumberland is absolutely the place you should spend your formative years. Maybe.

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Graduating from a Northumberland childhood

'Where’s Northumberland?'

Tell someone you’re from Northumberland there’s a high chance they won’t have a clue where it is. “Is that the Lake District?” they may ask, like an idiot. Like the inevitability of death, taxes, and Christmas Day arguments with your Grandparents about politics, you will eventually take the easy exit and just tell everyone you're from 'near Newcastle'.

'You don’t sound Geordie'

That’s because I’m not from Newcastle. Although we may be near Newcastle, that doesn’t mean we’re going to sound like every caricature that is the Geordie Shore cast. ‘Posh Geordie’ is a term you will begin to hear, but it's alright, because we're more Northern than they'll ever be.

Someone from the South pretending they’re a Northerner

Stop right there. We’re like 25 minutes from Scotland, you’re all Southerners to us I’m afraid. When people complain about the North of England being cut off, but forget that there's only one main road leading to the North East. Even getting the train to Manchester costs around £30, let alone the rest of the UK.

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When someone from the South pretends they're Northern

It costs like £50 to get home after a night out

Having Newcastle on your doorstep is great. You're just a short journey away from the infamous Digi Mondays and the slim possibility that you’ll bump into the cast of Geordie Shore sat in a VIP area, ‘tashing’ on/off with each other, and generally just shouting "shots" at each other before going home.

Yet the downside to this is that short journey turns into a £50 taxi fare home because you live in the middle of nowhere and that’s how capitalism works and no matter how many times you put a black screen on Snapchat with the caption “anyone doing lifts?”, no one will come.

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There’s probably a miner in your family

Northumberland had a burgeoning mining industry in the 20th Century, with towns such as Ashington and Ellington producing vast amounts of coal on a daily basis. Ashington eve developed its own dialect, ‘Pitmatic’, because of the culture of the mine industry and the large amounts of workers employed in the industry. Although most of the mines closed in the 1980s, leaving Ellington as the last ‘pit’ to operate until it’s closure in 2005, their presence can still be felt today throughout families and communities across the county.

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Me, my brother and my miner

WE HAVE HOGWARTS

That’s right, we have Hogwarts. Scenes from the first two Harry Potter films were filmed inside the grounds at Alnwick Castle, the seat of the Duke of Northumberland, including the scene when Harry first rides his broom and when Malfoy says ‘Potter’ a lot in that way Malfoy says ‘Potter’ in the first few films.

And if that wasn’t enough, Alnwick Castle also hosted an episode of Dickinson’s Real Deal, so it really is the real deal.

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Alexander Armstrong is from Northumberland

Alexander Armstrong, host of Pointless, the greatest TV show in the world, is from the town of Rothbury, a town in Northern Northumberland. So beat that every other county in the country.