Crockery Personality Test

Wondering about your new housemates? The Tab tucks into a psychologically proven* personality study.


Is your flatmate really who you think they are? Only inspecting their plates will show their true colours…

So you’ve just moved into your new home; whether its your first year at uni in self-catered halls or you’re in second year cosying up in Lenton with your new housemates.

Some are strangers, others are friends you already know. But you really need to know what these people are like, after all you’ll be spending a year with them. What’s the best way of doing that? By silently judging all their kitchenware, obviously.

1. The Tesco Valued

P1010728 (640x480)

Pure and simple…he’ll be there for you….

Everything is white. And plain. And also still in its wrapping. This guy is fairly laid back and secure in himself.

Likes: Nights out

Dislikes: Coursework deadlines

Most likely to cook: Beans on toast

2. The Cath-Kidston wannabe

P1010726 (640x480)

You can look but can’t touch…

She’s got one Cath Kidston mug that she guards with her life. The rest of crockery…well it LOOKS like Cath Kidson but look how she’s stowing away that Matalan receipt! This girl will be domesticated, studious and girly.

Likes:  The Great British Bake Off

Dislikes: Anyone using her Cath Kidston mug

Most likely to cook: Cupcakes

3.  Inspector Gadget

Is the left from Ann Summers?!

Is the left from Ann Summers?!

You’ve seen an assortment of electrical devices dotted around the kitchen but you’re not entirely sure as to what their function is… and neither does Gadget man. They will sit and gather dust whilst he plays with his iPad.

Likes: Angry Birds

Dislikes: Anything done by hand

Most likely to cook: Pot Noodle, with a hand-blender.

4. The Rugrat

Nostalgic at heart...

Nostalgic at heart…

There seems to be a collection of children’s crockery in your cupboard amongst the flowers and patterns. One beloved Mickey Mouse cereal bowl, stained but sturdy has made it all the way to uni with its owner along with some Scooby-Doo plastic cups. This person likes their home comforts, just make sure they don’t act like a child as well!

Likes: Disney

Dislikes:  Confrontation

Most likely to cook: Coco Pops

5. V.V.O.C.: Very, Very, Organised, Colour-coded Friend

It ain't easy being green...

It ain’t easy being green…

You opened their cupboard by mistake and stagger backwards in surprise. Everything is stacked so neatly and nearly everything is the same bright colour. Even the collander. This person likes things tidy and matching so just leave them to it.

Likes:   Highlighters

Dislikes: People leaving their washing up

Most likely to cook: Something that looks amazing but seems to create no mess…HOW?!

6. “We were supposed to bring stuff?!” guy

Maryland...A regular guest in your fridge

Maryland…A regular guest in your fridge

This guy has no clue. He pitched up to uni with one rucksack of clothes and is now getting quite a few nasty surprises. He’ll always have an amusing anecdote of face-palming quality but watch out he doesn’t nick all your stuff and leave you to tidy it up! Not compatible with V.V.O.C.

Likes: “Winging it.”

Dislikes: The cleaning rota.

Most likely to cook: Takeaway. Always takeaway.