7 Girls & 1 Mug: President Trumps
Muggins finds out what his ladies think of our candidates…
Election time is here again. A very confusing period of time, mainly because you’re contending with deadlines at the same time as doing battle with the strange overachievers who keep trying talk to you as you leave Hallward.
It’s important to have your say but knowing what is what, and who to entrust the SU to can be a daunting task. The girls watched the candidates videos and and had a peek at the manifestos and let me know what they thought. Fairly sure we covered all the important bases:
Johnny Lawrence
Buffness/general attractiveness: 10
Douchebaggery: 4
Campaign:10
Policies:10
‘I think he’s hilarious’
‘I love ANAL’ (need to watch his video for this one’
‘I would dominate him in the bedroom’
‘I fancy the bald man in his video’
‘I want to marry him’
‘his video is a must’
Anil Parmar
Buffness/general attractiveness: 8
Douchebaggery: 2
Campaign: 4
Policies: 7
‘No video, no vote’
‘I just farted I’m that excited’
‘he has good eyebrows’
‘boy you’d bring home to mum’
‘I kinda wanna squeeze his cheeks’
Tom van Wesseldine
Buffness/general attractiveness: 7.5
Douchebaggery: 5
Campaign: 6.5
Policies:
‘looks a bit glum in his picture’
‘well made video’
‘policies aren’t that inspiring’
‘reds a strong color’- obvious left wing connotations for someone quite so double barreled
‘too many friends’
‘too many hoodies’
‘good logo’
dubious about ‘ implementation of a video chat facility for the University Intranet’
‘cute’
Shehroze Khan
Buffness/general attractiveness: 7
Douchebaggery: 1
Campaign: 3 (haven’t seen him around)
Policies: 6
‘Bringing geek-chic back’
‘friendly face’
‘cheeky grin’
‘I wouldn’t mind being tickled by that beard’
Ellie McWilliam
Buffness/general attractiveness: 8
Douchebaggery: 2
Campaign: 5
Policies:6
‘sponsored by Apple’
‘I’d give her one’
‘We don’t feel we get enough of her personality coming through with the video’
‘girl power’
‘too many men, too many many men’
‘if she has a vagina I’m voting for her’
Luke Mitchell
Buffness/general attractiveness: 7
Douchebaggery: 2
Campaign: 4
Policies: 8
‘big claims on the manifesto’
‘haven’t seen anything of his campaign’
‘should have done a video!’
‘no slouch on the CV front’
The Dark Knight
Buffness/general attractiveness: 10 (rivaling Johnny)
Douchebaggery: 10
Campaign: 0
Policies: 7
‘mysterious’
‘I’d bang Bruce’
‘feel like we need a bat signal in Lenton’
‘well fit picture’
Police officer sent WhatsApp message saying Notts attack victims were ‘properly butchered’
Phoebe Kowhai‘The message is as barbaric as the crime’
Grace Campbell
Families of Nottingham attack victims recall moment they were told about their deaths
‘I remember I got out the car and I screamed. It was just like everything went dark around us’
Bella Fatherley
Man jailed for nine years after killing Nottingham Trent student in police car chase
‘Our beloved Oshada was very close to our hearts and can never be forgotten’
University of Nottingham alumna died from stage four cancer while visiting family in China
Gwen Zheng died in March after being diagnosed with stomach cancer last October
Families of Nottingham attacks victims call for law change after killer’s sentence reviewed
‘Until the law is changed murderers will get away with murder’
Nottingham University introduces mandatory breathalyser for all students before lectures
This comes after attendance to morning lectures dropped to an all time low
Here’s what your favourite night out says about you as a Notts student
Lexi KenseyFrom the sticky floors of Ocean to the fresh downing pints at Sheaves
Courtney Layzell
From nightlife to natural beauty: This is what Notts students love most about the city
Rufus ReddingIt’s not just the nightlife that Notts has to offer
Nottingham student sentenced for involvement in Depop designer clothing scam
Enoch Onojighofia has been ordered to undertake 180 hours of unpaid work
Nottingham University students occupy Trent Building in protest of arms manufacturers
Students demanded the university ends partnerships with arms manufacturers
Your ultimate guide to the best post-library pint spots in Notts
Daniel EllisThe most important article I’ve ever written
PSA: Here are the best places for your parents to stay for graduation
Alexandra HaydenBecause they deserve something cosy
Man admits to making bomb hoax in Market Square same day as Nottingham attacks vigil
65-year-old Vivian Mackay called police and told them he had planted a bomb inside a tree
Families of Nottingham attack victims back decision to put police into ‘special measures’
The decision means that the force will have to improve the way in which they carry out effective investigations and support victims
PSA Notts students: Here’s all the best advice from Nottingham alumni
Lizzi MathiasWe asked Nottingham alumni what they wish they knew sooner and here’s what they said…
Families of Nottingham attack victims say police boss is ‘hiding away’ from them
‘Why can she not just pick up the phone?’
Here’s how to make the most out of your final semester at UoN
Finola SpeckWhether you’re a slave to George Green library, a Crisis cult follower or somewhere in between
Kaching! The Russell Group uni subjects you need to study if you want to be a millionaire
Emily SmithAwkward time to be an English student x
17 years since it first aired, this is who from the Skins cast is actually still friends
Iona MacRobertI wish I was invited to their lunch reunions
A side by side comparison of Black to Black’s cast and the real people they played
Jess LawlorThey got the beehive spot on
Baby Reindeer: A psychologist has explained why Martha always used ‘Sent from my iPhone’
Despite not even owning an iPhone
A look at Richard Gadd’s intense transformation in order to appear ‘neurotic’ on Baby Reindeer
Francesca EkeHe drastically changed his appearance for the series
There was another chaotic editing error on MAFS Australia 2024 last night and it’s CARNAGE
Ellie RingHow did the producers miss this?!
The five fashion trends all the cool girlies are wearing to festivals in 2024, according to Pinterest
Grace VielmaThe lewk bewk isn’t ready for this
Matty Healy has addressed Taylor Swift’s ‘diss track’ and is characteristically unbothered
‘I haven’t really listened’
Everything Lauren has been up to since leaving MAFS Australia 2024 like an absolute queen
She’s an icon, a legend and she is the moment
‘Honestly, I expected backlash’: Richard Gadd speaks on Baby Reindeer’s staggering success
‘I didn’t expect it to be this big so quickly’
Selling the OC cast member Alexandra Jarvis has officially quit the Oppenheim Group
Jason Oppenheim recently confirmed her departure
Omg, MAFS UK fan favourite Georges is rumoured to appear on Celebs Go Dating!
Get him back on our screens!
Lauren reveals the ‘spicy’ parts of her MAFS Australia final vows that were cut from show
Jono should be thankful these weren’t aired
24 years after it first came out, what is the iconic cast of Gilmore Girls up to now?
Give me another reunion asap please
Here’s where else to watch the Outer Banks cast while you wait patiently for season four
Filling the major Pogue shaped hole in my life rn
Everything Natalie and Collins have been up to since their disastrous time on MAFS Australia
Harrison BrocklehurstIf I had to hear about Collins discussing OnlyFans, you do too
Everything Richard Gadd has said about Jessica Gunning’s captivating Baby Reindeer performance
‘It lived and died on Martha and we couldn’t have been luckier’
Okay, so what happens next in the Ellie and Jono cheating saga on MAFS Australia 2024?
Jono becomes public enemy number one
The 10 best songs on Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department, according to streams
Justice for So High School!!!
Jess reveals she and Callum ‘no longer speak’ after he did something ‘unforgiveable’ to her
‘I wouldn’t say he’s a friend’