Species of Flatmate Explained

In your time in halls, you will inevitably come into contact with what can only be described as a “mixed bag” of individuals… Below are my observations of what could be described as the varying species of flatmate.

The Gossip:

This flatmate always has their ear to the ground- or to the wall, with the help of a handy glass. They will be the first to gleefully inform you of “who came home with who” and other such amusing trivialities. Your drunken rant on who has been stealing your milk, or which flatmate you really wished used more deodorant, is never just “between you and me”. This flatmate may subscribe to the belief that, in the interest of their and other flatmate’s entertainment, if flat members are not providing suitable amusement, it is in everyone’s interest to just make it up.

The Recluse:

Not much is known about this flatmate… They are rarely seen outside of their dwelling except at particular times of day when they may venture out to eat or attend lectures. Even then they do so in such a way as to attract as little attention as possible. Any attempt at contact may lead to an awkward conversation and swift retreat from the ‘Recluse’.

The Beacon:

This flatmate, in early weeks, may seem like a really interesting person who has a lot to talk about, always with an exciting anecdote on the tip of their tongue. However, as the weeks go by, on closer inspection you may notice that something seems to happen to this person almost weekly, or whenever something significant happens to someone else. As such, they are a ‘Beacon’, never to be outdone on the drama front, and they will attempt to get as much attention as possible from as many people as they can!

The Crusader:

This flatmate appears to live by a strict “moral code”. This code manifests itself in the form of the ‘Crusader’ placing them self in the way of anything they deem wrong or inappropriate whether it is an inter-flat prank or simple banter. However, it is definitely worth noting that this strict morality (a yardstick by which other flatmates are ruthlessly measured) is often limited to others, when they partake in such behaviour it is fully justified and admissible!

The Troublemaker:

The ‘Troublemaker’ can be seen to be the opposite of the ‘Crusader’. While the Crusader condemns mischievous behaviour, the Troublemaker actively endorses it. The Troublemaker will perform pranks (i.e. your mattress is never safe in their presence) and stir the pot simply because they enjoy doing so. Even though their intentions are usually innocent amusement, some such as the Crusader react particularly badly to their endeavours and this can often place the Troublemaker in a lot of well… trouble!

The Peacemaker:

Perhaps one of the most important members of any flat, the ‘Peacemaker’ acts as a cornerstone to the flat dynamic. They are your archetypal ‘nice guy’. No one has anything against them, and they are friendly with everyone. Because of this, they help maintain healthy relations between other clashing characters, diffusing tension and generally acting as a common ground or interest that all the flat share.
Do you agree with any of these? Comment with your opinions and contribute other categories you think exist!