I’m a crazy rat lady

When most parents leave to embark upon their annual holiday, (the one that no longer involves you), they usually leave a mandatory list of do’s and don’ts.

Don’t trash the house. Do walk the dog. Don’t throw any parties. Do hoover, polish, mop and [insert every other household job possible that you will only attempt to complete once you hear their car pull up on the drive in two weeks time].

On the bottom of my list, starred, underlined and starred again: “Don’t buy anymore animals”.

It took approximately five hours after they left the house to locate the perfect duo (cage included – bargain) on Gumtree, and after much (very little) debate they were in my hands the next day.

Ever since that fateful day of rash decision, me and my rats, Billie and Fearne, have been inseparable.

And we were made even more inseparable when my mam forced the three of us out of the house and into my flat.

As a single mother to these two furry creatures, I am very defensive when people are mean about them. After all, what have they done to deserve foul words?

I have even had friends threaten to kill them if I let them out of the cage. FRIENDS.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with Billie and Fearne and people should be more open to pet rats. They’re intelligent, playful and affectionate. What more could you want in a pet? Some us expect less from potential partners.

These two are the most spoiled rats in the North East – they have their own toys, shampoo, and they’re better fed than myself.

Billie and Fearne are worth all the stolen beverages, chewed chargers (three and counting) and scratches – I can’t get changed without them flinging themselves onto my shoulders or climbing up my legs.

I LOVE them. Scaly tails and teeth included.

And if you hadn’t already guessed, yes I am single.

Some might say crazy rat lady. I say open minded lover of all animals great and small.