Six things Manchester students do that last longer than Liz Truss in office

Liz Truss officially resigned today at 1.30pm after a short six weeks (44 days) in Parliament, making her the shortest serving prime minister in British history.

This afternoon, she said outside of 10 Downing Street: “I cannot deliver the mandate on which I was elected by the Conservative Party.” Until a new leader is elected next week, Truss will remain in office.

Any student knows six weeks isn’t a long amount of time – that is generally how long it takes to connect to an Uber to get to Warehouse Project or find your way to your seminar in the Sam Alex building. Here is compiled the six things as a student that take longer than Liz Truss’ time in office.

Getting your ‘free’ coffee from Pret

The start of how to make the most of your budgeting  is buying the £25 Pret subscription (It was definitely £20 last year; that’s inflation for you). You truly believe that buying this will save the earth shattering cost of buying five coffee’s a day after an all nighter in the Ali G or a late night at XLR.

Except to get this coffee, you have to stand in arguably the most painstaking queue Manchester, potentially the whole of Lancashire, has ever seen. I think you could complete your degree in the time it takes to get your Iced Chai Latte with Oat Milk and an extra shot.

Your landlord getting back to your email

Once you move out of halls, your biggest fear is something going wrong in the house as landlords take longer to reply than that situationship you’ve been on and off with since first year. The house could explode and you could be greeted with an automated message saying they’ll get back to you when they can.

Be patient, and assume in 44 days or less that the list of things you send on move in day is going to get fixed. The hole in the wall won’t still be there when you move out and your shelf will be put up.

Staying in your overdraft.

After too many Factory Monday’s and 2 for £5 bottles of wine at New Zealand Wines, you will end up deep in that Monzo overdraft, and wouldn’t it be easy if you could just resign from being at -£500?

You get your January loan and you’re convinced you will not make that mistake again. Except then you get roped into buying everyone drinks at Friendship Inn and you’ve screwed your budgeting for the term (should have gone in happy hour).

The food in the back of the fridge (someone own up)

I would actually like to personally call my housemates out on this as this week we found a two month old Camembert in the fridge. I’m sorry, what student eats Camembert? (At least we can narrow it down to the people from South London.)

No wonder you’re in your overdraft, just eat cheddar like the rest of us. And when I say eat it, I mean please eat it before it’s sell by date, or even before it starts to develop brains and starts taking over the world. If it is going to take over the world, it could at least sweep the floor on its way out.

Unfortunately, the Camembert was not available for a photo as it is hopefully in landfill by now (it is in fact in the alley behind the house). Instead, we opened the fridge and managed to find some grapes that went off before Liz came into power. Some people never learn.

Getting down the Curry Mile

I am convinced the length of the Curry Mile changes based off of how good my mood is, which is determined by the percentage of my lecture I actually understood. You keep telling yourself that the exercise is good for you, but after you get splashed by a bike for the sixth time maybe you should have just waited for the bus.

You become convinced you’ve walked past the same halls four times, and that somehow you’re walking backwards as you can’t see the Owen’s Park tower yet, a beacon of light confirming you haven’t got long left. You’re close to being able to sit in front of the TV watching Peep Show for the next 24-48 hours.

Once out of halls, the biggest con is that you can’t stop at Owen’s park campus, the distance between there and your house is the same as Land’s End to John o’ Groats.

Waiting to get into WHP

I would actually like to expand this into getting to Warehouse Project, waiting to get into Warehouse Project and getting back from Warehouse Project. These journeys feel like SAS missions, but each time you would do it again in a heartbeat.

There is nothing that makes you re-evaluate every choice you made that night than sitting on the floor of Piccadilly at 5am waiting on some sort of miracle to get you back to the warmth of your house after the highs of the music have worn off.

Except you have more chance of winning the lottery than connecting to an Uber, and if you do it will make you cry it’ll be so expensive. Or if you decide to walk to Piccadilly Garden’s, you will be sat waiting for a bus for so long, your only hope is that you get back before your lease is up.

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