It’s about time Sheavyn got some credit

Manchester’s famous for its nightlife and wild party halls, with the edgy Fallowfield vibe and clubs full of french-plaited hair and bucket hats.

Tower dominates the Fallow campus and is a landmark for all drunken freshers navigating their way home from a night out, whilst Oak House is the prison-like shithole we all love to hate.

Sheavyn on the other hand doesn’t have such a great reputation, or really much of a reputation at all. We’re branded as boring, posh or losers. That’s if you’ve even heard of us.

But it’s about time Fallowfield starting giving Sheavyn some credit, and here’s why:

Our parties never get shut down

Anywhere else in OP, most parties worth going to are shut down by smug wardens before 12.  But the great thing about living in “Fallowfield’s dullest accommodation” is that the security don’t suspect a thing.

The warden (Norman) won’t cause a fuss if we’re making noise. He’s just happy that his students are acting normal and actually looking mildly popular for a change. It’s rumoured that he once walked into a flat to find an orgy taking place in the corridor.

Our parties don’t get shut down if Norman’s around

It’s better looking than Richmond

But what puts Sheavyn ahead of Richmond, the equally overpriced ensuite accommodation? Well, our accommodation is so much nicer than theirs.  Although we do quite well deflecting most of the insults aimed at us, we can’t deny that Sheavyn does have its wonderfully posh attributes.

When we’re feeling fragile after a heavy night we find ourselves in a position quite unlike any other Fallowfield resident: rather than wallowing in our own self pity in a dimly-lit prison cell, we can embrace the beauty of our surroundings. When the weather’s acting particularly un-Manchester, we have grass and benches to sit on and a pond to bask next to whilst we soak up the rays. On the other side of the eyesore that is Tower, we can see a beautiful 1930s building with large bay windows.

View from Sheavyn House or Downton Abbey?

And our rooms are massive

We can’t ignore the room size: bigger than Richmond and a palace compared to Oak House’s prison cells. It may not quite be Woolton Hall, which probably only Sheavyn have heard of, but you’d comfortably fit your six mates to stay for WHP, and they wouldn’t even have to wait for a shower.

We have a better space for pres

If you’re lucky enough to find it, there’s a common room with sofas and a TV, and we have our own private entrance, which allows us to get anything we like into Fallowfield without security knowing. Not that we would ever abuse such a privilege.

We also have twice as many working facilities as Oak House and three times the fridge space, so even though we blew our loan on our accommodation we can actually cook good food and save money on all those take-outs OP are forced to buy on the weekend.

Bigger kitchen means better pres

Our flats have more people so we’re more likely to get on with them

We also have more people in each flat, which means more people to get on with and much much bigger pres. And if going out isn’t for you, we have a kitchen big enough to have flat meals together, unlike the tiny ones in OP.

We’ll probably do better in exams

We’ll probably do better in exams than those in OP, because we’re nice and keep the noise down for our friends. Plus we get to use Ashburne’s fancy old-fashioned library which beats the overcrowded OP cluster.

Room for a few mates for dinner?

We accept our roots

Most people move to Manchester and jump at the opportunity to start wearing wavey garms, hanging out in basements and listening to grime music, forgetting their middle class family and adopting a new persona in favour of something more edgy. And congrats, you now look like everyone else in Fallow.

But in Sheavyn people don’t try to be something they’re not. We embrace our backgrounds, do what we want and don’t wear old clothes with holes in to try and fit in. And we’re happier for it.

Sheavyn residents know not to be like James

It’s in the perfect location

Not only do we get a beautiful view, but we are also in the perfect spot in relation to everything else in Fallowfield – close enough to Squirrels to go for a  quick drink, but far enough away so that the music and smokers outside don’t disturb us. We’re close enough to the bus stop and conveniently equal distance from Oak House and Richmond, so popping to see friends is not quite the effort it is for Woolton Hall.

If we want to go to a mad party, we can go to Tower or Oak house then come back to chill in our really nice common rooms.

Small but mighty

So even if you still think Tower’s the place to be in first year, give Sheavyn a bit more credit – at least we’re not Gashburne.