51 criminals have gone to Manchester since 2003

It’s the sound of the police


A shocking 51 filthy reprobates have studied at Manchester in the past 12 years.

A freedom of information request submitted by The Tab also reveals that eight criminals have already earned themselves a criminal record this academic year alone.

The most rebellious year group was the 2007/2008 where the uni has records of 13 student criminals.

Where the po po at

We’re studying among criminals

Criminal activity was also frighteningly high in the last academic year, where there were 11 criminals.

Dismayed third year Daisy said “How the hell did they get away with that?!”

However, the news isn’t shocking for all; a fourth year medic told The Tab: “Each case has to be considered on its own”

“Criminal offences could range from urinating in public, up to the worst crimes”

“Surely everyone deserves a second chance”

It’s the sound of the pooooooliceeeeee