The Tab Guide to Exams
A step-by-step visual guide to your emotional and spiritual journey through academic testing. You’re welcome.
Certain things inevitably occur every May. It rains constantly, contestants on The Apprentice act like twats, and exam season arrives.
While we cannot offer any advice to ease the pain of the first two, The Tab have compiled a handy guide to exams to give you a quick reminder of what to expect ,in case you still haven’t quite figured it out. You’ve only had 8-12 years of annual examinations, after all.
Two weeks before the exam:
The night before the exam:
When you realise your exam is actually in North Campus:
When someone mentions something you didn’t revise just before you go in:
Giving yourself a pep-talk in your seat:
When a phone goes off:
When they say ‘five minutes left’:
When they are taking in the papers:
Leaving the exam:
A number of people have been hospitalised as a result of the substance
This list is constantly being updated
‘I’ve got two regular part time jobs as well as occasional shift work and still struggle to make ends meet’
The member of staff also admitted the silverfish ‘problem’ has been ongoing for years
And yet the university has attempted to defend this…
Students are facing a loss of over 40 per cent allotted teaching time
Manchester Rent Strike told the uni to get on with supporting students rather than attacking them
University staff will be striking in the first week of teaching after the Christmas holidays
Organisers say 350 students have participated in this month’s rent strike
Around 300 first year students are withholding hundreds of thousands of pounds in rent today
Oh and Number 9: I will lay off the booze, just a bit
The group is calling for students to cancel their direct debits by 19th January
Where better to base a festive favourite than in Fallowfield
We made it so you don’t have to (believe me you don’t want to)
Couldn’t find toilets. Had to utilise an alley behind Tesco.
Lets hope the lifts don’t break
From noodle-filled vomit to twelve j-bombs in a row (or more realistically the other way round)
That £170 might buy you a few shops at big Sainos but it’s not helping you beat inflation
‘It’s really unfair, and kind of xenophobic’
Also some clues which point at if you’re watching one
Being trans has never been easy for us
Viv Deering from No Offence has huge Catherine Cawood vibes
So this is what Francesca Bridgerton has been up to
I’m feeling really old now
This is exactly what we need rn
‘You guys are so mad that I don’t fit into this narrative you’ve created for me’
All the money goes to charity too!
It’s where he has all his deep and depressing thoughts x
Bartise and Nancy are friends now?!
Stylax from Plebs singing Losing My Religion? That’s going right on my watchlist
Queer people exist, even amidst the apocalypse
She’s gained over half a million since she shared she was pregnant
Stop making the uni’s poor working conditions my problem
I could listen to Jessie talk for hours
If I see one more Napapijri jacket, I’m going to scream
No one could have guessed this(!)
I didn’t realise there were this many!
I won’t know peace until I have answers
The casting team are really in their bag this season