What To Do When Staff Go On Strike Again Tomorrow

UCL Uni staff will be striking tomorrow over pay row. Here’s how to get through this difficult time


University workers are set to walk 0ut once again tomorrow in the row over fair pay.

A message on UCLU’s website warns that “Any and all facilities and activities in UCL may be closed or cancelled” as UCL staff from all three trade unions (UCU, Unison and Unite) refuse to work on December 3rd.

The workers are protesting against pay cuts, gender wage inequality and workers earning less than Living Wage.

strike

UCL released a statement on their own website saying that “Any member of staff who refuses to carry out their duties will be committing a breach of their contract of employment,” and that the cuts are due to continued uncertainty and financial insecurity within the higher education sector.

The last strike, conveniently placed on Halloween, appeared to lack the desired impact on students daily activities, with most lectures still on and physical picket lines being few and far between. If you are planning on using the classic ‘I’m fighting the good fight’ excuse and skive everything tomorrow anyway, we’ve come up with a few handy tips to pass the time:

Lame Tips

  • Do your work (like some kind of chump) 
  • Get your Christmas shopping out the way and hit Oxford Street so you can get your granny that Miranda DVD  (pretty chumpy)
  • Clean the kitchen/your room/up your act and sort your life out (why are you such a chump?!)

Radical Awesome Tips

  • Spend the whole day trying to re-enact Wrecking Ball as sexily as you can while your housemates watch in horror. When asked, just keep screaming  “I’M DOING ART”
ART

ART

  • Bake Christmassy treats for your neighbours and then dress up as Scrooge and go door to door eating them all yourself in front of them while laughing manically
  • Party like it’s 1999! (I.e. you were about 8 so play Pokemon and then cry when you’re told to go to bed)
  • Play ‘White Russian Roulette’: Get all your friends together and get hammered on milky cocktails, then guess who’s lactose intolerant
  • Play ‘Prussian Roulette’: Load up a musket with gunpowder, spin it round on the table and then dissolve into Germany
  • Write down variants on Russian roulette. It’s very absorbing.
  • Read this WikiHow on ‘How to Pass the Time’ and wonder how anyone ever had enough time to pass in order to write it. That should pass some time

Happy Strike Day Everyone!

 

Do you have any variations on Russian Roulette? Email in to [email protected] We’d like more.