Tab Meets: Edgy Girl Leeds

Denim, drugs, flux and hi-tops. Edgy Girl Leeds soared to fame by exploiting that tendency we all have over exam period to waste time on social networks. The Tab sent Bob Palmer to find out more.

The Tab: Hello Edgy Girl. Let’s cut to the chase with the obvious question: are you the edgiest girl in Leeds?

EGL: I’m a very modest person so I personally wouldn’t say I am. However, everyone I meet always tell me that they wish they could be as edgy as me, and that I’m the edgiest person in Leeds, if not the UK. So I guess I am.

The Tab: That’s impressive, but we’ll need some proof. What’s the edgiest thing you’ve done today?

EGL: Got together with my mandem for a standard Sunday Session, so we’ve been spending the day taking more drugs than Lance Armstrong. Unfortunately I have to prepare for a dissertation meeting with my Sociology tutor tomorrow so I could only take Ketamine (as that’s a class C).

Shmoke and a Pancake

The Tab: Sounds edgy. So were you always this way or were you a good girl before Uni?

EGL: Alas, I was not always this way. Back at my all-girls’ boarding school in Bucks I was head girl, hockey club captain and a model for Hollister. Then when I came to Uni I realised that, if I wanted to be cool, I’d have to wear second-hand sportswear, get a block fringe and disguise my drug addiction with a false love of house music.

The Tab: Did you take a gap yah?

EGL: Of course I did – it’s not like I went to state school. In fact I took two because I didn’t quite find myself on the first one. After my skeason in Tignes I travelled around Africa helping to build schools. I had never met a poor person before that, apart from our maid, so it was it was a real eye-opener for me and I’ll never forget my experience of giving back to the less fortunate. After a few months the manual labour was starting to get a bit annoying though, so I got Daddy to book me the next flight to South East Asia. The Full Moon Party on Koh Phangan is the greatest party in the world. Apart from Flux of course.

The Tab: So after all that you came to Leeds and found your edge… but do you never just want to get some VKs in and dance the night away to S Club at Halo?

EGL: I often do go, but luckily people just assume I’m being ironic so I get to keep my edgy status. Until then I’m just going to keep on tweeting Cyril Hahn telling him to do a house remix of S Club 7 like he did for Destiny’s Child, so that one day I may listen to them publicly again.

The Tab: But there are so many ‘edgy’ people around, listening to house. Isn’t listening to S Club sort of anti-mainstream nowadays anyway?

EGL: You can’t really dab MD on the reg to S Club 7 though.

The Tab: Each to their own, I guess. So, I’ve heard some rumours flying around about you and @edgyboyleeds. Are you two an item?

EGL: Please. He’s about as edgy as a Satsuma… In other words, no

The Tab: So how does someone become edgy enough for you

EGL: Well it’s not just a fashion statement; it’s also a state of mind. That’s generally how you identify your Hipster from a homeless person (it can be confusing though as both are generally addicted to drugs). You can’t just wear a scrunchy and suddenly become edgy; otherwise six year olds would be addicted to ketamine. People like ‘Edgy Boy’ just don’t understand how hard it is to be edgy

The Tab: Very enlightening. Finally, what does the future hold for Edgy Girl

EGL: Whatever the fuck I want.

The Tab: We wouldn’t expect anything less.

Edgy Girl Leeds has just hit 2,000 followers. Become one of them @edgygirlleeds.