Where are the best toilets on campus?

This is the question you’ve all been dying to answer since you first walked the hallowed halls of Murano and fell down the stairs at Viper.

Which are the best toilets on campus? Read our guide.

Library Toilets Ground Floor

Best for a bit of light reading.

Feeling fed up after a study session in the library? Head on down to the toilets on the ground floor, lock yourself in the end cubicle and prepare to be inspired.

Features nuggets of wisdom like “love ur vagina” and “FREE THE PERIOD”, along with Robert Burns-quality poetry such as “you’re not hardcore.. unless you live hardcore”.

There are also stunning illustrations to make your trip to the loo an enlightening experience.

Unfortunately all of this Banksy-level graffiti can’t distract from the constant stink of these particular toilets, so while opening your eyes to the beauty around you, you might be best holding your nose.

Hetherington Toilets

Best for selfies.

Hold on a minute. Things have really ramped up.

Rather than making you look like you are suffering from jaundice, the lighting in here is almost flattering, and glory hallelujah, there are clean sinks.

Take as long as you can in here. Maybe even take some selfies. Take your time. Appreciate these toilets for the palace that they are.

GUU Gender Neutral Toilets

Best for pulling.

A big move for the union in terms of equal rights, yet most people using them appear to simply be there to excitedly snapchat about the chance to pee alongside the opposite sex.

There are signs all over the place reminding you that “ANYONE CAN NOW USE THESE TOILETS REGARDLESS OF GENDER”- in case you were to bump into a boy and collapse on the spot in shock and horror.

A side note: Anyone brave enough to use this toilet for a number 2 is clearly a thug life gang$ter who doesn’t care about pulling prospects in the beer bar.

Boyd Orr

Best for washing your hands.

Based on the headache-inducing white and orange colour scheme, these toilets appear to be involved in a sponsorship deal with Easy Jet.

But if you can soldier through the 1960s facilities and make it as far as drying your hands, you will be rewarded for your brave efforts by a glorious Dyson Airblade.

You heard right. The Rolls Royce of hand-dryers has made it to Glasgow.

Even if you are nowhere near the Boyd Orr, make the trip to this toilet simply to enjoy this engineering masterpiece.

Alexander Stone Building

Best for pretending you’re Moaning Myrtle.

Fairly decent toilets, with more sinks than any toilet could ever possibly need.

A personal highpoint in these toilets was the discovery of a helpful sign that one cubicle was “out off order”.

“Out off” to order what? Toilet paper? Soap? A Chinese? Unfortunately, this mystery was never solved.