Ranking EUSA’s Welcome Week 2022 events from bizarre to downright unhinged

I didn’t even know Gok Wan was a DJ tbh

After two years of Covid, Freshers’ Week is back to its former glory. Starting on Saturday 10th September and finishing on Sunday 18th, EUSA will be throwing a whole load of events to welcome students to Edinburgh University.

The last proper Freshers’ Week events took place in 2019, when Edi students were blessed by appearances from the Vengaboys, Love Island’s Belle (although it was originally supposed to be Maura which would’ve been actually iconic), and Hodor from Game of Thrones.

EUSA have recently announced their Welcome Week 2022 events, and let’s just say you certainly won’t be forgetting these in a hurry.

It wouldn’t be an Edinburgh Uni Welcome Week with just regular, boring clubbing events. Instead, EUSA have lined up some truly unique themed nights and celebrity appearances.

And to help you decide which ones to get tickets for, we’ve ranked our favourites from bizarre to downright unhinged:

6. Beach Foam Party ft. Love Island’s Danica – Meet & Greet

The Beach Foam Party featuring a Love Island star isn’t new – in 2019 we had Belle Hassan, and yes I did queue to get a picture with her.

But the fact that it’s HR Danica who’s coming on the Friday night is magnificent.

To use her own words to describe herself, of course EUSA would choose the “articulate and quite intellectual young woman” to make an appearance. She’s an inspiration for all first years to follow.

Honestly, Danica was such a solid member of this year’s Love Island cast, and for £10 you can meet her. What a win.

5. Big Cheese Presents: Busted DJ Set – Charlie Simpson

It’s only right that Freshers’ Week starts off on Saturday night with a Big Cheese. And not just any Big Cheese at that.

I won’t lie, if you just said the name Charlie Simpson to me, I’d reply with ‘who?’. But we all know who Busted are.

It’s pretty standard for Big Cheese to have celeb DJs in, but what’s intriguing about this one is that the description on the EUSA website makes it sound like it’s going to be pretty Busted heavy: “Let’s fast forward to the Year 3000 and have a blast from the past listening to all the iconic Busted tunes that live rent free in your head.

“This incredible live music night will be DJ’d by no other than Busted member Charlie Simpson!!

“Get ready to come and see the real deal and experience the legend and the wonderful music from a great era – what could be better!”

My first thoughts are that I don’t really have any Busted tunes living rent free in my head, and that I’m not sure Charlie really counts as a legend (no offence). But, it does sound like a fun first Cheese back.

There’s nothing like a Big Cheese

4. Bingo Babes

This one made me smile. Bingo Babes will take place in Teviot Garden on Tuesday night from 20:00 to 01:00.

The event description reads: “With a flutter of false lashes and a shower of glitter, the lovely Bingo Babes will be taking over the Teviot Garden for a night of bingo!

“There’ll be mischief, mayhem, and more ball jokes than you can handle, with fabulous prizes to be won and drag performances too.”

How amazing does that sound?!

Bingo, booze and ball jokes. I’m there.

3. Big Cheese Presents: Robot Rock Daft Punk Tribute

Considering this is the final event of Freshers’ Week, I’m kinda confused as to why a Daft Punk tribute band is headlining tbh.

Big Cheeses are known for being whacky at times, but this just seems a bit bizarre.

The event description says “Robot Rock – Daft Punk Tribute will be taking over Venue for our Freshers’ finale night! Expect a state of the art sound & light show.

“You’ve got lucky with this one, come for a night of around the world hits and finish Welcome Week off right with this tribute of the legendary techno duo.”

I’m guessing this is some sort of attempt to trick the new Pollock Boys into thinking Big Cheeses are the club night for them, but they’ll soon realise the truth once the bouncy castle appears a few weeks down the line.

Don’t get me wrong, it sounds great. But in 2019 we had the actual Vengaboys, just saying.

The vibes better be as good as this

2. Gok Wan Live DJ Set

Am I the only one who didn’t even know Gok Wan was a DJ?

As if the fashion icon that is Gok Wan will be gracing the Potterrow decks on Tuesday night. I’m officially speechless.

According to the description on the EUSA website, Gok “will lead an incredible night of tunes for you to get down to”.

Those tunes will be “soulful, uplifting house”. I genuinely can’t wait.

1. Rink-o-Mania – Stranger Things 80’s Roller Disco

Okay, there’s so much to unpack here.

Just the idea of a regular 80s roller disco in Potterrow would be enough to make you question everything you’ve ever known, but a Stranger Things one?! Madness.

There are 12 slots to choose from all lasting 30 mins from 18:00 to 00:00 on Wednesday, and 80’s fancy dress is highly encouraged.

Honestly, I have so many questions. Where are they getting the roller skates from? What does a Potterrow roller rink even look like? Will everyone be getting a roller skate in the face just like Angela did?

Despite just how unhinged this event is, it’s definitely not one to miss.

What a multi-purpose space!

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