Here’s what the different areas of Edinburgh would be if they were Christmas films

Newington is Home Alone 3


It’s officially the best time of the year again, which means that as well as spreading festive joy, we have the opportunity to tell you more things about yourself and the kind of Edi student you are – with a festive twist.

By now you should’ve all done our quiz on where you should live in Edi, but now we’ve come up with list that tells you what Christmas film your area of Edinburgh is most alligned to.

Every film on this list is one of the best Christmas films ever, so don’t be a Scrooge and embrace whatever you get – and as always, the reasons are totally scientific.

New Town: The Holiday

First of all, trekking to New Town (or trekking out, if you’re living like the other half) is a holiday in and of itself. Supplies and good walking shoes are essential.

But there are other completely scientific reasons as to why New Town is definitely The Holiday – with the toff vibes given off by both being the main one. Kate Winslet’s cosy cottage is set in Surrey (sound familiar?) and I’m like 100 per cent sure Cameron Diaz wears a red scarf in this film at some point. An unintentional ode to Pollock.

Furthermore, there’s a man called Jasper, and Jude Law definitely did a humanities degree. Need I go on?

Marchmont: Love Actually

I’m on the fence as to whether or not Marchmont deserves the honour of being compared to the best Christmas film of all time (I’m sorry if you disagree, it’s true) but there are just so many signs telling us this is the case. Number one is the sheer amount of recognisable faces you’ll find in both.

If you live in Marchmont you will end up bumping into the most inconvenient person in Sainsbury’s that you somehow have mutuals with, while Love Actually has every British actor to ever exist on its payroll.

Besides, both like to pretend to be a bit gritty and down to earth but just are a bit posh, aren’t they?

Tollcross: Elf

Hear me out, if you live in Tollcross you’ve got Buddy energy. You probably live here just for easy access to ATIK, which, we have to admit would be Buddy’s favourite night out if he’d come to Edinburgh. Just imagine him with a VK in hand.

Like Elf, Tollcross is funny and busy and a little bit weird. While I can’t claim it gives off New York vibes, if you live there, you’re probably very decent on a night out.

Newington: Home Alone 3

Home Alone 3 is definitely Newington. You’ve heard of them. You know they exist. They’re vaguely familiar and they’re very close to things and places you love. But will you ever actually choose to watch the third Home Alone film? Probably not by choice.

Let’s be real, who actually can be bothered to trek to Newington and relive first year flashbacks? Instead, it’s easier to just make your friends who live there come to you. Also, they both give off fingerless glove vibes – Joe Pesci’s wardrobe could definitely be taken from all the local charity shops.

Bruntsfield: Nativity

The thing about Nativity is that a lot of its scenes and lines were improvised – which is kind of what you did when you couldn’t find a flat in Marchmont and decided that Bruntsfield was kind of the same.

The message of the film is that the show must go on and you’ve got to fake it till you make it but it’s not all like that – Bruntsfield embodies the exact kind of Christmas charm Nativity is all about.

And if anyone was going to somehow pull off knowing a Hollywood producer by trying to get their girlfriend back, it’s a Martin Freeman lookalike in a cardi that lives in Bruntsfield.

Related articles recommended by this writer:

Here are five things you should watch if you’re single this cuffing season

How to prevent frostbite and stay warm in Edinburgh this winter

• I went to the Edi Christmas Market and here’s what I discovered