This is what your winter coat says about your Edi student vibe
If you have a houndstooth coat stay away from me
We might not be seeing swarms of colourful coats in George Square and Kings, but that doesn’t mean Edinburgh students aren’t rocking an impressive collection of winter coats. From the iconic North Face to the newly emerging leather blazer, every coat embodies its human vessel. We are here to tell you what each means.
Black North Face Puffer
Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping – the list goes on. No one can deny the unrivalled power and popularity of a black north face down jacket. If you’re a girl wearing this coat, you probably bought it because you saw it on TikTok in the past few months and decided to go into your overdraft to purchase one (currently at -£427 due to copious ASOS and PLT orders).
If you’re a boy, either you bought this because you genuinely thought it was a nice coat and didn’t want your mum to buy you another Anorak, or you’re middle class and ashamed of it so thought that trying to dress like a roadman at uni would help. Unfortunately, all other boys on campus had the same idea, and now you just walk around looking like large packs of people who skip leg day due to the ridiculous amount of stuffing there is in the arms of your jacket.
The coloured/patterned North Face
If you wear this sort of jacket you are admittedly slightly cooler than people who wear black North Face jackets but also much more pretentious and *qUiRkY*. It’s admirable that you had the balls to spend 200+ quid on a patterned coat that you could probably buy in Topshop. You’re likely to see these coats paired with signet rings, mullets and chunky trainers. Most coloured North Face wearers 100 per cent spend an hour getting ready in the morning to look “effortlessly fashionable”when in fact, we all know that messy, Effy Stoneham-inspired eyeliner took you 25 minutes.
These types of students attend lectures around two-fifths of the times they are actually supposed to and deliberately choose subjects with no tutorial participation necessary as part of their grade. Often they are too hungover from their third flat dinner party of the week to notice they have work. Probably studying politics, history or if they’re really pretentious but can’t be bothered to work, sociology or anthropology. Definitely eat kettle crisps and have over 1000 followers on Instagram.
The Canada Goose was in the past a rare breed (much like the animals who were brutally murdered to make it) but has since made a comeback. Usually worn by rich international students and paired with Balenciaga trainers or Alexander McQueens (RIP King), this coat is an instant status symbol as well as a clear indicator of your moral compass. It’s mainly seen on Business, Law or Economics students keen to manifest their wealthy futures while on campus.
Naturally, the Canada Goose is worn to every lecture (even during summer term) and often kept on during the lecture just to make sure we know how poor we are in comparison. Highly likely to buy a bottle of Grey Goose or Ciroq at Whynot or ATIK for the flex (even though the student loan ran out in week six). Most girls at Edinburgh Uni have probably had a boy in a Canada goose explain to them how “we can’t just print more money” to fix the economy.
If you’re a girl wearing a houndstooth/check/tweed jacket you are most likely a wholesome queen. If you’re a boy, you’re annoying.
It’s a well known fact that the fashion queens of George Square live in these coats. You are scientifically more likely to find a posh boyfriend if spotted cutting about in one of these. Frequently paired with Superga, Veja, and Converse trainers (and of course a a Chelsea boot in the winter), these girls are most likely to be spotted at home with the family in Oxfordshire when not on campus. Overall, big wife energy – best of luck with the History and English Lit degrees ladies (and finding a boyfriend with enough of a stake in his grandparents’ will to buy you that house in the home counties you so truly deserve).
Boys wearing these types of coats are a very specific breed. Either you’re a feminist and think starving children deserve to eat food (amen), or you’re the type of boy to say “just playing devil’s advocate…” in a tutorial debate on slavery. Both types of boy, however, constantly have about 70 matches on tinder and love watching films like Pulp Fiction and Scott Pilgrim.
Sport team jacket
If you wear your sports team jacket occasionally on campus, to-and-from the gym, or to training, fair enough. If you wear it at every opportunity to the point that it becomes a second skin to you, please get a life. This is an intervention – your friends are worried about you.
Never once has anyone looked at your jacket and thought, “Oh cool what a nice jacket! And they play 4th team hockey? Wow”. People wearing these sorts of jackets definitely get plain chicken at Nando’s and eat ready salted crisps, just because adding any sort of passion or flavour into their life would be totally and utterly disorientating. The beautiful game is all they care about – that and the socials. ATIK is fun guys but posting a 60 second story every Wednesday night is just too much.
If you wear a fur coat or any kind of fluffy/faux fur jacket you are a certified Bad B. Yes, it will get wet in the rain on your way to uni, and yes, you will be sweaty when you get to your lecture theatre, but it doesn’t matter. The sheer confidence of the outfit will make you forget about the horrible come down you’re having from the dodgy MDMA your mate gave you last night.
People who wear these coats are the life and soul of the party but probably will get threatened by their personal tutor at some point to work harder otherwise they’ll be kicked out of uni. Definitely the sort of student to buy a bottle of Moët with their dad’s credit card and mix in some vodka before their flat dinner party because “it just wasn’t strong enough”. Highly likely to vape during a lecture and disappear off the face of the earth at least one a week, these students are certified chaotic good energy.
People who wear denim jackets past week four of semester one fear nothing – and it scares me. How people can survive the brute force of chilly Edinburgh winds in thin jumpers and ripped denim jackets we will never know, but nonetheless they manage it. These types of people also do not fear university essay deadlines and will happily stay up all night consuming disgusting amounts of Red Bull and still manage to average a 67.
If you’re the type of person to wear a vintage denim jacket then you probably have a tattoo that you’re too scared to tell you mum about. You likely would pick sushi or a hoisin duck wrap as your main in a Tesco meal deal because you’re *cultured*. Likely to be spotted in Dog House, Bristo Square, or any on campus art workshop, you love talking about Marxism, Existentialism, and the importance of being environmentally friendly, yet seem to forget about this when you take four back and forth flights to your friends second homes in Italy, France and Greece. You definitely have already caught Covid due to the belief that social distancing is a conspiracy by the government to make us less creative.
Either you manage to pull this look off with ease, or you look like The Undertaker from WWE – there really is no in-between. If you own one of these jackets you absolutely love Zara and definitely regret going to uni instead of becoming an influencer. Sadly, the Love Island audition fell through so a Geography degree it is.
If a girl on Instagram dmed you about it, you probably would refuse to tell her where you got this coat from because you’re an original fashion queen – even though you used code MOLLY20 to get money off on PLT. Very similar to check/houndstooth/tweed girls just slightly edgier and more likely to get into a fight over flirting with their friend’s pull of the night.
Slightly less wholesome, and slightly more emotionally unstable, these girls love a good pornstar martini and a sporty boy to show them a good time. Covid has really done them dirty – think of all the Instagram boomerangs we could have seen with seas of leather blazer-clad girls going to Dishoom or Tiger Lily for brunch.