One in ten Edi students admit to breaking lockdown to have sex
You won’t believe their reasons why
A recent poll on The Edinburgh Tab’s Instagram revealed that more than one in ten Edinburgh students have broken lockdown and social distancing guidelines to have sex.
Out of more than 1000 people who responded to our poll, 11 per cent admitted to breaking lockdown for a shag whilst 89 per cent said they would never.
It’s been two months since Boris Johnson and Nicola Sturgeon announced the beginning of lockdown for England and Scotland. Currently, in Scotland, it’s illegal to meet with people outside of your household or leave your house for non-essential reasons (a cheeky shag is, unfortunately, one). From this upcoming Thursday, people living in Scotland will be able to meet people from outside their household, but this must be outside with two metres social distancing observed. In England, measures were relaxed last week, but the same social distancing rules apply.
You can exercise outdoors this weekend – like a run, walk or cycle – as often as you like.
ℹ But this should only be with members of your household and you must stay 2 metres apart from other people.
— Scottish Government (@scotgov) May 23, 2020
Having sex with someone you don’t live with is breaking the rules. It’s the opposite of social distancing. However, apparently it’s not that easy to just ask people to keep it in their pants. Even earlier this month, Dr Neil Ferguson, one of the scientists on the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies (SAGE), was caught breaking the lockdown rules to see his lover.
So, why are people finding it so tempting to break the law?
Why are a significant minority of Edi students flouting the rules?
Some Edinburgh students told The Tab why they have broken lockdown to have sex. While their reasons aren’t exactly a government scientist and his married lover, some of the justifications for their behaviour are pretty wild.
One anonymous respondent said: “I was thinking with my 🐱 and not my head… it was a random guy, I went over for 45 minutes.” An emoji really can hide a multitude of sins…
Some tried to use some very dubious scientific logic to explain themselves, with one claiming she “kept social distancing whilst travelling there, and he lives alone so I wasn’t affecting anyone.” Another felt “very safe” because “he was two metres long.”
Someone else told us: “I walked for two hours and met up with my boyfriend in the woods for a shag.” Put on your grafting boots gal – a two hour walk is a lot of effort. Let’s just hope it was worth it.
It seems not everyone was proud to have broken the rules. One girl said: “I met up with my SO, was not worth it.”
We also received some confessions of people being tempted but not going through with it. For example, someone admitted: “I got a text from my FWB but realised getting the rona from this boy would be more embarrassing than chlamydia at this point.” You might be right.
Other submissions admitted to people being “gagging” to break the rules. Someone get me some of that, honestly.
a relationship during this COVID-19 epidemic has not been nice to me, i just wanna see my boo. miss rona, you a bitch
— maybe: kiah (@kiiiaaahhh) April 4, 2020
However, we also received a fair few comments about lockdown not really making a difference to whether they are having sex or not. One replied: “I wasn’t having it before, I am not having it during, I probably won’t be having it after.” At least you’re being honest.
So, to the 89 per cent of you that have been following the rules, keep up the good work. To the 11 per cent of you that haven’t, how does it feel to be in the horniest tenth of Edinburgh students?
Cover photo: Neil Stewart