It’s time to admit it: King’s Buildings are better than George Square
Mormons vs. no Mormons – need I say more?
BA students buy in to every word of a BSc kid complaining about the walk out to KB at 8.30 in the morning. "It's soooo far away" they say, "the worst campus ever". "KB sucks".
But little do they know this is just a conspiracy to keep the best campus in Edinburgh all to ourselves; a cover up to keep the humanities hipsters and arty arse-aches far away on their own turf.
Let them live in blissful ignorance, with their Teviot nachos, too scared of the elusive shuttle busses and labyrinth of a campus layout to venture out and see for themselves how good we've got it, and make sure they don't come near our squash courts.
Kings Buildings: Three libraries and endless study spaces
George Square: One shitey library with an epidemic of half-arsed seat-saving
If you're a student at Edinburgh, I don't have to tell you how soul crushing the main library is.
You can only take so many hours of wandering up and down aisles of occupied study spaces, then spying an empty chair in the distance, only to discover a fork lying in the middle of the desk, which somehow means you're not allowed to sit there, before you give up entirely and go back home for more Netflix, but now with a false sense of accomplishment because at least you tried to go to the library today and it's not your fault you can't really get any work done.
At Kings Buildings not only do you get a bunch of different libraries, desk spaces and computer labs to choose from, but also our main library is actually called the Noreen and Kenneth Murray library, and I think that's really cute.
KB: Slightly bearable maths students
GS: Entirely unbearable social science students
So everybody hates on everybody else's courses, that's just a fact of life. But I think we can all objectively agree that social sciences are just the worst. From the oversized fur coats and culottes to the "just because I study psychology it doesn't mean I can read minds guuuuys," their absence from the King's Buildings is no great pity.
The closest thing we've got is the occasional try-hard maths student attempting to break stereotypes, but at least you can just start talking to them about the opposite sex and they get pretty quiet pretty quick.
On the whole, everyone at KB is just sort of normal – no one too posh, or too edgy, or too weird. Not to say that the eccentricity isn't fun or amusing, but It's a nice breath of fresh air to get away from all the intense characters knocking about the cobble stones of George Square, and be able to go to a 9am lecture with no make up on every once in a while without feeling like you've just crawled out of a dumpster somewhere when looking at everyone else.
KB: All lectures recorded always
GS: A technological shitstorm
For lectures in George Square, skipping the odd 9am is a risky gamble that King's Buildings students just don't have to face. Yes, there's a rule now that all Edinburgh Uni lectures are meant to be recorded, but if you think that means they actually are, you're going to have a disappointing time in that revision week before exams.
Whether it's because the lecturer couldn't work out how to start the recording, or if they just downright refused, missing a lecture is taking your life in to your own hands.
When you're skiving your King's Buildings lectures, on the other hand, you can sleep in nice and easy knowing a perfect recording is waiting for you on Learn to never catch up on.
KB: Over 10 cafes, shops, bars and kitchens on campus – and Tuk Truck
GS: Overpriced nachos and sad library coffee?
Now for the really important bit. Being isolated 25 minutes from town is less of a burden when everything you could possibly need or want is already on campus for you. Not only are there noodle bars, tacos, build-your-own wraps and an actual proper bar and grill, the names are really cute too. XY Cafe near the biology buildings, The Magnet in the physics block and the Eng Inn in the Engineering building. And they say scientists can't be creative.
It should go without saying, being on a uni campus, they're all ridiculously cheap too. But with the climbing prices and minimum card spends plaguing George Square, perhaps it doesn't… #shade
KB: £36 year long gym membership
GS: £115 year long gym membership
Perhaps every science student's best kept secret – KB Fitness. For less than a third of the price but still with all the trimmings, right in the middle of campus. We might not get the Australian rugby team popping by once a year (as far as you know), but with badminton, squash and racketball the rest of the time for a cheeky hit between lab sessions it's certainly worth it. Pleasance, on the other hand; arguably not.
KB: No Mormons
Don't know how much expansion this needs. The only suspiciously attractive men in their early 20s with dubious theories about how the world works we've got are a few Physics students, and if they randomly come up to you outside the library you can consider yourself lucky.