All the things you should have left behind at school before coming to uni
Take that out of date condom out of your wallet
It is a weird reality that some of things you did for so many years at school which were deemed to be cool, become dramatically more uncool as soon as you leave school and go to uni. The habits you have at school are ones that most people will drop in order to not come across as a little bit lame to their new group of friends, and those who don’t will certainly get called out for it at some point for doing such ‘school’ things.
The leavers’ hoody. Now this is something that all sixth formers in their final year cannot wait to get their hands on. The whole process of selecting the colour, and some ridiculous nickname that you give yourself so that you can get it printed on the back to make you look that little bit more cool and popular.
However, these hoodies are short lived and once you’ve worn them to school for every day of your last week, they then find themselves housed at the bottom of your wardrobe never to be worn again, and if that isn’t the case, then that’s where they should be. It’s seriously not a good look to be seen strolling around uni with ‘BAZ – 15’ printed across your back, especially seeing as though your name is Barry and nobody ever calls you ‘Baz’ anymore, and thank God for that.
The kids at school who first started being bold enough to wear a snapback on non-uniform day were the COOLEST, and those who dared wear them as an accessory to their uniform, oh boy they were too much.
N0t everyone could pull them off, so if you had the gift, then you had to take advantage of it. There was honestly nothing cooler. However, if you ever see anyone strutting their stuff around campus wearing a snapback thinking that they are slick, then pull them over to one side and let them know that their cap says ‘Sorry I’m fresh’ on the front of it, and that is objectively uncool.
These were the school equivalent of lightsaber. They were tools that were to be respected and stowed away in a safe place until it was needed on hand. After all, what’s a Jedi without a lightsaber?
The same concept applies to a student without their e-cig. They’ll be spending break time alone waiting for the next lesson to come along. When you get to uni though, nobody actually cares about how big a cloud you can blow, or how good you are at making rings, they are no longer measurements of popularity. When you come to this realisation after arriving at uni, only then do you truly realise how times are going to change now you’ve left school.
That out of date condom that you always kept in your Topman wallet
Looking back, what was the point of this? Were people thinking that they might ‘get some’ at the end of French if they worked extra hard on their homework? Or if they got ten merits? If you bought your wallet into school you were cool enough, but if you had that lone condom inside of it then you were had the 1-up on everyone else who didn’t.
The thing was though, the condom you had in your wallet had probably been passed onto you from some other pupil on a night out. A night out where you naively thought you were in for a shot with someone who very shortly after, made it clear that they just wanted to be ‘friends’, rapidly extinguishing that fire.
This condom was really old, most likely out of date, and had probably had a good three owners prior to yourself, and they had only passed it onto you so that they seemed equipped and experienced in your eyes. Really though, nobody ever came close to using it, and the very condom you had in your wallet back in the school days is probably still getting passed around now from pupil to pupil, and will more than likely never get used.
A pencil case
REALLY? Having a pencil case at uni seems like an illogical thing to most people, seeing as though in lectures you’re more than likely to either type out your notes or write. Realistically, you can’t have both out due to the lack of room, so you go with the laptop option as with a laptop you have more freedom for procrastination that you would with a pad of paper and a Bic biro.
There’s only so much doodling you can keep yourself busy with in a lecture. Having sharpies and an array of fancy gel pens at school was SO cool, but when you get to uni you will either lend these out to your mates one by one and never see them again, or you will just never be able to justify spending £10 on a set of pens when you’re paying for them yourself.
In the school days, if you were sporty you were cool, and if you were the sportiest person in the year, then you were officially the person everyone else wanted to be. But once you get to uni, playing in the rugby team or something similar isn’t seen to be so cool anymore.
Being ‘laddy’ rapidly becomes recognised as a far less positive trait, and nobody really finds the idea of doing gross things all in the name of the sport that fun or funny anymore. They’d rather kick back and chill either alone with Netflix, or with friends without having to drink a dirty pint.
Just a normal pint will do once you get to uni. The overly fit and healthy people can also come across as slightly annoying to people, as they eat their spinach and couscous in the library, with you sat there still smelling the Subway on your hands that you chomped down not ten minutes early.
Also, if you got to wear your sports kit to lessons at school then that was a real treat and everyone became incredibly jealous. But if you rock up to a lecture in your gym kit, then people are instantly far more bitter towards you. They feel as though you are doing it to try and point and show the whole lecture theatre that you’re doing something that bit more productive than everyone else with you day.
A fashion trend that was born and died very soon after. It’s always strange when you see people wearing lightly coloured chinos outside the context of it being in Year 8 on non-uniform day. They are fine, but it’s just a bit of a strange choice. When your mum still bought your trousers for you then you couldn’t really complain, but when you are at uni buying your own trousers (hopefully), then why the chino?
Gaming at school was the best pastime. Being able to play PS3 in between lessons was brilliant. You’d play anything too – Call of Duty, FIFA, whatever the kid with the console had on offer. There’s something remotely uncool THOUGH about playing on Call of Duty when at uni, especially if you are really going it with the headset and all of that. It can be fine with friends, but it’s got to be some that is done spontaneously when you’ve exhausted all other options, otherwise it is a little bit of a weird one.
Some of these things are still somewhat fine, but if it is the case that you find yourself doing some of these things when at university, then it might be worth stopping and asking yourself whether you are being a bit too ‘school’. It is always worth asking yourself that.