How to be a prick in the library

You can sleep in your flat, you know?


It’s nearing the end of midterm assignments, it’s dark at 4pm and you can’t remember the last time you went out. After spending a lot of time in the library, you’re probably absolutely sick of it.

But, when procrastinating from work, it can be a lot of fun to spot the certain types of people you’re used to seeing each time you go there.

Here’s a few of the most common.

‘The Group Chat’

You’re all panicking about going over the deadline for your next assignment, so use your Facebook group chat in order to all meet up and ‘smash it out’ together. Obviously this is never going to work, you’re all far too happy to be in a group chat, so that fact you’ve actually organised something through it means that you are too proud of that to actually get work done when you do meet up.

You’ll often spot these people either taking up a group presentation ‘pod’, thinking that the thin perspex shield around them blocks out the annoying gossip of their ‘clique’ that nobody cares about other than them.

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The ‘Lunchers’

By far the most annoying library-goer. When you go to the library it is always a mission to even find yourself a seat before you can begin to think about getting any work done.

That is why these people are so frustrating. They will have the best seats in the library, guarded by a laptop, a ring-binder and a coiled pair of apple headphones – all tell-tale signs that this seat is reserved and not to be taken by anyone else.

But the thing is, you’ll be in the library for an hour and the ‘rightful owner’ of that seat will never return, purely because they are out scoffing a Subway down their seat-guarding gullet, whilst you sit in one of the worst seats eating your plain cheese sandwich out of a Tupperware.

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‘Pod-Slugs’

Everybody loves a pod. They are the ultimate aim for anyone when it comes to finding somewhere to sit in the library.

They feel like your own little palace, they have a screen that you can connect your laptop to, a round cushioned seating area which makes you feel like you are in some laid-back American diner, and they’re great for people who want to get on with some group work without the ‘shushers’ coming out to play.

However, it is a pity that a good chunk of these group pods are often vacated by just the one student hogging the entire pod, with nothing but a laptop on the table, with headphones plugged in, watching Netflix. It couldn’t be more obvious that is what you’re doing, when your hands are by your sides and your eyes are glued to the screen – you’re certainly not doing a reading. Go home!

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The Snackers

Everyone loves a bit of brain food, but nobody loves it as much as the person eating it. You do not want to be the person who everyone is furious at for slouching themselves down with Netflix on, inhaling a bag of pickled onion Monster Munch – they may taste good, but they smell like death.

If you find yourself picking up a Grab Bag before you head on into the library, put it down and buy something else.

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‘The Shushers’

Everybody hates a shusher, and there’s always someone in the library who thinks they are working the hardest and will ‘shh’ you for literally sneezing.

We get it. You’ve done first year and you are starting to realise that you actually have to work in order to achieve. But as long as you know that, then that is OK – you don’t need to let every one else know by being a dick.

The Nappers

There is no question that these are the worst type of people to find in the library. You will find these almost anywhere, and the fact that they are taking up a space just to have their head on the desk fast asleep is infuriating for everyone. The ones who have the cheek to nap in one of the group pods as well, they are the boldest of the bold.

You don’t want people to catch you sleeping in the library as you won’t be very popular at all, get yourself on home and get into bed.

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