How to deal with your Conservative parents

They have not the hopefulness of youth


Innovative Learning Week at home can be a struggle if you’re young and left-wing and your parents are the bastard children of Reagan and Thatcher.

At uni, you’re surrounded by like minded peers, free to smoke rollies whilst discussing the merits of What is to be done? til the early hours of the morning.

At home, however, you can’t help but be aware of just how big-C Conservative your parents are.

It becomes apparent at dinner time when you find yourself considering, after the glorious revolution, whether you’d be able to convince the death squads to spare your parents.

It can be a tense time when the government makes a decision about austerity, or when Jeremy Clarkson tweets something.

Here’s some things you can do to ease the situation:

Lie

A lot.

“Did you vote in the Labour leader election?”

“Yes, Dad, I voted for Liz Kendall, the establishment candidate, the 90s were great and I hope she brings back the sense of opportunity and youth to government that New Labour did.”

She is just so likeable

I love her so much I want to see her face whenever I get a text

Thick Skin

Prepare for snide remarks any time you do anything vaguely middle class.

Drink coffee from a cafetierre?

Have an interest in rugby?

“HOW on Earth could you possibly be a leftie when do you do X?”

Essential reading on your M&S bedding

Essential reading on your M&S bedding

Stick to your guns

Your parents are probably tories for fiscal reasons. Thus they have serious cash to throw around.

They may offer you cash to vote Tory.

Don’t accept.

I don’t have to explain why.

Screw you, Dad

Screw you, Dad

Have courage in your convictions

When they remind you that you went to a private school, politely remind them that it was their decision to pay fees for your education.

Remind them that you’re statistically unlikely to earn more money than they did.

Remind them that you’re gonna have to live with them ’til your late twenties because you can’t afford to rent.

Remind them that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer and that you’ll struggle to get a job with a degree as a requirement.

Fight the urge to ask your dad if his mate who works in the city could set you up with an internship.

Continue to tweet jokes about David Cameron and pigs’ heads.

When you take it off, the dream is dead

When you take it off, the dream is dead