It’s not easy being Northern Irish

Our accent isn’t nearly as sexy

Recently, the Independent released an article named ’10 daily struggles faced by Irish students in the UK.’ But what about us poor Northies? We’ve got struggles too.

Being from Northern Ireland allows us to have dual-nationality, giving us the most powerful passport combination in the world. So if we say we are Irish, then we are.

And if we say we are British, we are.

But don’t bring this up over pre-drinks and don’t ask annoying questions like “but if you’re Irish, why don’t you have a nicer accent?” or “how can you be Irish when Northern Ireland is part of the UK?”

Northern Irish students face the struggle of having to pinpoint what exactly it is we ‘are’ and deal with people’s disappointment when they realise we aren’t from the South. How annoying.

TAB

We’re privileged.

Something else faced by Northern Irish students is how everyone thinks the Troubles are still ongoing.

Northern Ireland is not as “dangerous” as people think.

If you come and visit, the worst that could happen is being caught up in “bomb scare traffic,” which is more annoying than life-threatening.

Of course, there are our culture differences. We still get the typical Irish assumptions – that everyone has red hair, loves potatoes and can drink anyone else under the table – but we have a whole other culture too.

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I don’t even like potatoes.

We practically have our own language. Here’s some translations, as no one ever understands us:

Baltic – Extremely cold.

Barrick – a two litre bottle of cider. Usually Old E’ or Strongbow.

(a) Chip – a portion of chips. If we ask you to pick us up a chip, it does not mean a single chip.

Craic – great fun, i.e. “That was great craic, so it was.”

Curry half ‘n’ half – a box with chips, rice and curry. If you have not had one, I encourage you to do so.

Guddies – trainers, new shoes. Many people get ‘holiday guddies’. There is an urban legend that the word comes from “whale gut” because that’s what shoes used to be made of – although we have no proof that this is true.

Par Shar – our pronunciation of “power shower.” We also struggle with the pronunciation of “mirror.”(myrrh)

Scunderred – absolutely mortified with embarrassment.

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Told you it was a real word

We also have products that we crave when away from home, which do not exist anywhere outside of Northern Ireland.

We are shocked when no one knows what BPM or Sukies are, or when no one understands why we are not happy with our fry up when there’s no soda bread.

And of course, there’s Cookstown Sausages.

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Endorsed by George Best, greatest footballer from N.I.

Over here in mainland Britain, we are also deemed as being “deprived” as we don’t have Greggs – but I promise, it’s really not as bad as it seems.

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I wasn’t disappointed.

Next time you feel like challenging a Northern Irish students’ identity or making fun of our horrendous accents, please, spare us a thought.

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