The complete alphabet of all Durham necessities

So it is mid-Freshers’ Week and you realise that, with the start of the term less than a week away, you have entirely forgotten how to socialise in a non-covid-lockdown Durham. Remember the good old days when the only thing you had to queue for was Players Wednesdays?

You may have achieved high enough A-level grades to get into a Russell Group, but do you know your Durham A to Zs? Fear not, The Durham Tab is here to help you study for the all-important return to campus.

A is for archiving overheard

Rest in Peace to the old Overheard Facebook page.

B is for Billy B

Love it or hate it, there’s nothing quite like staring up at that mass of 80’s brown brutish architecture and turning to your mate and saying, “I’ve left my campus card at home”.

Find out what your Billy B seat choice says about you here.

C is for college bar crawls

Because we all know, only the elite can finish a full crawl in one night, extra points if you were here pre-2019 and made it out to Queen’s Campus and back!

D is for DJ Dave B

Thinking about when he and Mrs B single-handedly saved Jimmies. We would be lost without you.

E is for Eton

“Rah, what school did you go to?”.

F is for falling down the stairs in WiffWaff

No matter how hard you try to style out your quick escape route from one of the red gilet Butler darts players, nothing is going to take those bruises away.

G is for gourmet cooking

Because college catering hits different, complain about it all you like, but you know you’re missing having potatoes for three meals a day!

H is for the Holy trinity

Pizza King, Pizza Uno and Urban Oven, all on one street? All within drunk stumbling distance from Lloyds and Players? Because life doesn’t get much better than this!

I is for Investment banking

Because where else would a Geography undergraduate be planning their future as a banker.

J is for Juicy Couture 

Y2K fashion and velour jogging bottoms in nightclubs. Paris Hilton, who?

K is for Klute

Your go-to for a night that you won’t want to remember, in what was once voted the worst nightclub in Europe.

L is for Lumiere

Only a small number of students ever manage to get tickets. The road closures become more than a pain, but seeing people appreciate Durham’s true beauty warms our hearts.

M is for matrimony

Because who doesn’t love tying the college knot with your best friend only for them to shark your college children? However, when you finally heal from this betrayal, you may end up part of the Durham 70 per cent.

N is for nightmare landlords

There was a damp patch on the kitchen ceiling on move-in day; despite telling your landlord several times, you still somehow got charged for it in your deposit.

O is for Oxbridge rejects

This one is self-explanatory.

P is for posting on overheard at 1 pm the next day when you finally arise from a heavy one and remember that you lost your coat… AGAIN

Hopefully, everyone will stop wearing the same black puffer jacket this year, which might help the confusion.

Q is for queuing outside of Players for an hour on Wednesdays, hoping the bouncer lets your mate in without a ticket

And you can’t wait to do it all over again.

R is for re-open nominations

Regardless of your personal opinions on the Students’ Union, we certainly all love the drama.

S is for Spags

Notable mention to their two-litre bottle of wine and the free garlic bread that comes with it.

T is for themed socials

Name a better duo than college bar crawls and themed socials; we’ll wait.

U is for “unay”

V is for VKs

How could you forget your first straw-pedo? Because apparently, VKs aren’t just for underage drinking.

W is for wishing you had a car when you realise you’ve got to walk back to the viaduct from Maiden Castle after training… and it’s raining

X is for xijgrgktp (what the Fabs drinks list looks like when you’ve had one too many)

And begging your mate to go to the bar for you because you can’t do the embarrassment of the bartender laughing while you’re trying to pronounce the cocktail names again.

Y is for you got any papers mate?

Z is for Zen

If there is one cuisine that Durham does well, it is Thai food.