What the mould in your student house says about your life

Ah, mould. The only furry friend that nobody misses during term time, the singular blight upon the otherwise earthly paradise of the student house.

But have you ever stopped to consider just what the mould patterns in your house might have to say about your future? Read ahead for more.

The snowfall

If you look closely here you will see the pattern of snowflakes, falling from a cloud of snow. These snowflakes are actually not snowflakes at all, but breadcrumbs, falling gently from your toaster as you attempt to clean your kitchen next Tuesday.

The bubbles

Here we see the bubbles in the gin and tonic that you will be drinking tonight. There are lots of them, because you will have at least four. And some wine. Maybe a shot or two.

The darkness

A dark cloud in this formation, entering your life in the form of a looming summative assessment. But remember, after rain comes a rainbow. Keep that faith going, keep those words flowing.

The chaos

Confusion is what you see here. Where are your keys? Where is your phone? Where is your sense of self-worth?

The order

An interesting smattering. As we can see, the mould here is quite neatly organised, which is actually an ironic statement on the current condition of your bedroom.

The climb

Look closely and you may notice the outline of Mount Olympus. Alas, this is not Mount Olympus. It is instead representative of the perilous ascent you will face on Monday morning as you head up the stairs to Level 4 of the library. Remember to take adequate supplies.

The coffee

The two different colours of mould you see here portray the two different strengths of coffee you will be consuming this year, dependent upon whether or not you have bothered to buy milk.

The night sky

Here we see the spor(e)adic but promising movement of the western stars towards the month of Venus. We don’t know what this means either.

It might be time to get in touch with a psychic if any of these apply to you.