All the ways you’ll fail as a human in Tesco right now

Durham’s worst queue WILL drive you crazy


When going grocery shopping turns out to be the biggest ordeal of the day, something is seriously wrong. No wonder Durham students spend less money than others on nights out, they have to spend all their extra money on shopping at M&S because Tesco is such a nightmare these days. These are all the annoying things you'll experience in Tesco on a regular shopping trip:

When one till closes down, it's anarchy

If there's a problem with one of the checkout tills, the whole of Tesco falls into absolute chaos. The queues go right back into the aisles and well…it's not ideal when you were just on a quick biscuit run.

You'll go in for one thing and end up leaving with every "Buy one get one half price" deal you could possibly carry

"No I don't need a basket, I've only come in for …" – famous last words. Not many Durham students can resist a good bargain, whether it's half price Sauvignon Blanc or saving 99p on a punnet of mushrooms. Whatever the deals, it's a guaranteed fact that you will never leave Tesco with that one thing you came in for…chances are you'll get so carried away that you'll forget the original item you wanted to buy anyway.

You'll have to deal with some members of the public getting annoyed at you because let's face it – you're a student and this is THEIR tesco

Getting scowls whilst wearing your stash and crowding round the Meal Deal section with your friends? Yeah that's probably because the general Durham public doesn't have much patience when it comes to us students clogging up their precious Tesco.

They run out of stock in a matter of hours (eg. the houmous crisis in 1st week of Michaelmas)

Yes, Tesco ran out of their classic houmous very quickly a couple of weeks ago due to the sudden influx of student cravings. Let's hope, for Tesco's sake, that their stock of bourbons and custard creams doesn't suffer the same fate.

You'll always forget to bring your own bag , despite frequently complaining that you have to keep buying the 10p ones

So what's the deal with the lack of 5p bags? Why are we having to buy 10p ones every single time we shop? 10p here and there is definitely a big deal. But no matter how much we complain about their lack of the cheaper 5p alternatives, we never remember to bring our own…which quickly leads to a build up of Tesco plastic bags hoarded away somewhere in our student houses.

It's never not busy

Seriously, there is never a quiet time to pop by Tesco. It's always crammed, you wouldn't have even thought there were that many people living in Durham. Is a peaceful, calm grocery shop too much to ask for!?

You wish you were really at M&S

Come on now – how loyal to Tesco are you really? Are we not all truthfully emotionally cheating on the store, every single time we walk past M&S and secretly wish we could afford to do our weekly shop in there? So civilised, so quiet, so simply…Marks and Spencer.