The complete A-Z of Durham

This is the only thing you need to read this year if you feel like you haven’t yet seen all of Durham.

Read on, because this is important.

A: Anxiety

Let’s face it, anxiety and nervous breakdowns are a Durham staple..

B: Billy B

Both the adorable ex-Chancellor and author who is way too keen about Durham, and the massive library named after him.

In your first year introductory lectures you will inevitably hear Bill Bryson OBE’s quotes on how much he loves this quaint city. In the following weeks though, the Bill Bryson library will slowly but surely take ownership of your soul.

C: Cathedral

The Cathedral is never not under renovation. It’s pretty, and very old.

D: Domino’s

Large pizzas for £5, unless you lose your Freshers’ Week wristband.

E: the Exiles

It is impressive how a bunch of Hatfield rejects can form a clique that is more elitist than Hatfield itself. Kudos you guys..

F: Formal

An excuse to wear gowns after matriculation, and to get slightly better food than the regular college meals. For a lovely few hours Durham students can pretend they managed to make it into the haven that is Oxbridge.

“I think the Latin mass really adds a certain je ne sais quoi to formal.”

G: Gala Theater

A tiny but lovely cinema where only two films are shown at any given time.

H: Hatfield

The place everyone is supposed to hate. Most Hatfielders cannot help but defend themselves when asked what colllege they go to, saying “I’m in Hatfield, but I swear I’m nice!”

I: Internationals

LOL jokes- there is no international student body.

J: Jimmy’s

Overflowing loos, lack of oxygen,  and too many stairs leading to minuscule dance floors…

10/10 will go again.

K: Klute

Klute is lyfe.

10000000/10 You will come back to have your stag do here in 15 years time.

L: Loveshack

The ideal club for those who feel like spending the bulk of their Wednesday night in the queue for the clıub.

M: Market Hall

So. Many. Knick-knacks.

Also home to the stellar Le Petit Creperie.

N: Newcastle

The city you end up going to once per term (if you’re lucky) even though it is literally 11 minutes away.

O: Oxbridge Butthurt

Even our breakdowns lack the panache of Oxbridge’s glorious fifteen-essays-a-week psychotic collapses- nonetheless we desperately hold on to the Doxbridge fantasy.

P: Palatinalps

Annual Hatfield field trip to Val d’Isere.

Q: Quaddie

The banned drink holding cult status. The original was a monstrosity consisting of orange, cranberry and four shots of vodka. Nowadays half the vodka is given separately to comply with EU health and safety regulations.

R: Rowing

Signing up to the college boat club seems like a good idea at first. Soon after the 7am swim-test though, everyone realises that rowing is the bane of their Fresher existence.

S: The Swan

Cheapest pint in town!!!

T: Toffs

…because we are…

U: Urban Oven

Everyone’s favourite post-Shack snack-spot.

V: Van Mildert

That college up the hill with resident duckies and a pond.

W: Wiff Waff

Supposedly edgy club famous for the mosh pits upstairs.

X: Xtra

…because we are…

Y: Ye Old Elm Tree Pub

Alleged source of criminally cheap pints.

DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY GO THERE THOUGH?

Z: Zen Durham

Yum.