Prefresh say the funniest things

Summer’s coming to an end and Michaelmas is slowly creeping up on us. While the rest of us are ready to fall back into old routines come early October, all across the country there are almost 4,000 pre-freshers both nervous and excited in equal measure for their first term at Durham. 

Naturally they have, as I am sure you did, a multitude of burning questions about their home for the next 3 years. And where else to turn in a time of such desperate need but the internet?

Everyone’s helpful on the internet.

How else will they find out whether to bring a desk lamp, who else wants to join a band and why they can’t seem to get DUO to work?

A quick scan of the Durham University Firmers 2014 Facebook page will tell you that this year’s undergraduates’ priorities lie not in the perilous depths of the vortex that is Student Finance and certain financial ruin, but in how best to decorate their rooms and the opening hours of the local Krispy Kreme.

Some of the posts seemed to be looking in all the wrong places…

Today on the Jeremy Kyle show…

… like completely the wrong places.

If only there were some sort of ‘Bristol Freshers’ group you could join…

Lots of people used the group to make friends (and maybe more than friends)…

‘Send it to me if you like’ – Huw’s sharking starts long before freshers week…

… though on reflection some maybe took it a tad too far

I prefer to get to know people before spending a wet weekend in a tent. Maybe I’m just old fashioned

Some asked the really important questions…

Perhaps the most pressing issue on every fresher’s mind right now

How’s Michelle going to check The Tab on the way to lectures?

…and some prepared for the crazy ride that will be freshers week

“I have a mate who knows a guy who can down a whole mug of tea in one”

Define ‘wild’.

There’s everyone from the sporty…

Probably Hatfield…

The ever subtle game of ‘My cock’s bigger than your cock’ under the guise of ‘did you play county?’

… to perhaps the not so sporty…

The first rule of ‘Durham Classics, Classical Past and Ancient History Freshers 2014’ is….

… to the ‘little bit niche’

‘Bit of a long shot’ – ya think?

Because buying alcohol is far too mainstream…

And finally those who began to ask the right sort of thing…

Welcome to Durham, Aura. I’m sure you and your ‘Father’s Visa International’ will fit in perfectly

If you’re a fresher, instead of writing stupid things on the freshers’ groups why not join The Tab and write stupid things on the internet where over 2 million readers a month can see them?