Fashion Show Season: The Preparation Starts Now

When I heard the news about my recent inclusion amongst the models for Castle’s upcoming Charity Fashion Show, I have to admit my delight and excitement was blunted somewhat by the inevitability of my selection.

After all, having been in the Colleges debut show last season, I’d like to think, that my starring cameo role in the Youtube video was the primary reason for why the number of hits quickly soared (although maybe the Ann Summers lingerie walk had something to do with it).

However, this anti-climactic reaction soon made way for the growing realisation that once again my natural good looks, toned physique and boyish charm will be on full display for the female public. I remember last year’s afterparty as my fellow fashion comrades and I descended onto the Loveshack stage, hair and make-up still intact, being met by a swarm of giddy, lust-filled women.

Metaphorically speaking, we were like big bags of catnip dangling invitingly amongst a gaggle of feverish, starry-eyed pussys. We were the toast of the town. And it was ultimately no surprise when I woke up in the bed of a love-struck Fresher, with my new found sex-symbol status engrained amongst the Belles of Durham.

However, as someone who never wishes to rest on my laurels, I’ve decided that I must do whatever it takes in order to raise my performance for this year. The sacrifices are hard to take, but as a slave to fashion I appreciate that it’s the price to pay for my art. It’s a lifestyle choice.

In honour of my TOWIE idols, I’ll be adopting a “No Carbs before Garbs*” outlook to my diet. And instead of using the gym as an opportunity to look at myself in mirror for 30 mins, I’ll transform into an iron-pumping, sweat-dripping, burn-feeling machine. As Jane Fonda famously said, “No pain. No gain”.

Additionally, I decided to do some research on the internet seeking that extra edge necessary to stand out. Looking through the advice though, I couldn’t help but notice I had all of the perfect attributes required. Over 5’11’’? Check. Good sense of style? Of course. Attractive physique and good facial features? Well, I’m naturally a modest kinda guy, but I’m pretty sure that’s a strong affirmative. Great facial projection? Not sure what that means. Excellent stamina and familiarity in different postures? Just ask the ladies.

But ultimately, if I want to truly elevate my level of performance on the runway, I need to fully immerse myself into the catwalk mantra that we models adopt on stage. No longer shall I merely walk to my lectures in the Science site.

Every step shall be a strut, a stroke of elegance fit for the bright lights of Milan. No longer shall I stand, but pose. Instead of staring, I’ll be pouting. In fact every time I see my reflection I shall imagine being in a shoot on the beaches of Rio, exploring the depths of my soul to find the precise posture and look that reflect my clothes and its surroundings in that delicate moment.

It’s a tough life, one of a college charity fashion model. But someone’s got to do it.

*A garb is a fashion or mode of dress – I’m not just a pretty face