Line your stomach with Lidl’s bakery, until you become a mini pizza: New Year’s resolutions every Cardiff student needs to make
I can’t touch the VKs, it’s a New Year, new me hun x
It may be cliche, but everyone needs a New Years resolution or two to set them off for the year- it's a right of passage in life. And if anyone needs to set themselves new goals and challenges for 2018 it's us Cardiff students. After missing too many 9am lectures on Thursday mornings, spending a considerable amount of our student loan on Lidl focaccia, and spending too many nights throwing up in the SU toilets, it's time for a change.
Who knows, maybe if we trot a bit faster we'll make it across the Hoffi Coffi crossroads in time. Anyway, here is some of the New Year's resolutions we should probably make:
Blowing your student loan in two nights at the SU, all on orange VKs
It's the sweet nectar sent to us from the heavens, and we can't get our hands off it. But it's getting silly now, we consume way too many VKs and the damage to our bank accounts after a night at YOLO is irreparable.
But lets be honest we're not going to stop, are we? So we may as well go on a big bender and spend our loan on our fave bevvys all at once. It's kind of hard to stop drinking them, when the SU is the biggest supplier of VKs in the country.
Actually start going to lectures
It's such a tiresome task but they're worth nine grand you know. If the Powerpoint's online though it may be worth staying in bed and ordering a Maccies breakfast off Uber eats.
Stop getting taxis into town because it's only round the corner
Lol get an Uber instead Dragon because you'll save some P. You're obviously not going to walk into town in the pouring rain are you? As soon as it hits March it's kind of warm enough to walk, but who wants to leave pres early to trek when you can down an extra vodka and coke and get a two minute ride to make it before the queues hit town.
And tbh apart from during Freshers' Week, which first year in their right mind would walk from Taly?
Line your stomach with Lidl's bakery, until you become a mini pizza
The golden abyss of fresh baguettes, cheesy focaccia and sweet jammy donuts are too irresistible to ignore, so it's perfectly acceptable to dine at Lidl's bakery for breakfast, lunch and dinner throughout exam season.
This nutritional brainfood is required to get you through your day at the ASSL. Who the hell makes a packed lunch or some overnight oats. Why pretend to like some new health craze you've found on Instagram.
Also must stop spending student loan on Uber Eats and Deliveroo… yeah right
Maccies on Uber Eats is revolutionary, you can legit eat a Big Mac in bed the morning after a mad night out – or whenever you fancy because no ones going to stop you. Don't let anyone rain on your parade, if you want nuggets at 11am then you do that girl.
… and Greggs' sausage rolls
… and cheesy chips
… and meal deals
Yeah, that's definitely not going to happen.
Continue to get hyped when Feed em to the Lions comes on at Juice
It's been two years now and it's still a strong contender on the SU playlist, a sudden burst of adrenaline runs through your veins when you here the classic chant. There's no RUNNNING FROM MEEEEE.
Don't end a night out at Heath…or you can do for bants and a memorable story to tell your future grandkids
Gone are the days where it's acceptable to get so wasted that you end the night in A and E at Heath Hospital. Don't break your arm down the SU stairs or collapse after downing too many Jäger bombs, you're not a first term Fresher. BUT, if you do you'll still be classed as a major legend and your scars will remind you of that bangin night at Cirque. So actually, do what you please.
Keep getting with Lads in chinos despite their rep
They get around and won't commit to a relationship no matter how many times you've hooked up. Despite this you probably will still get with them. So actually, embrace having such a selection of fit Ruggers lads to choose from and take your pick for the new year.
Make it to the Hoffi Coffi crossroads whilst it's still on green
Get on the new year fitness kick and trot that little bit faster on your way to lectures. Beat the green man at his own game and cross the bloody road before the red man takes over. Or else, fear the dreaded one minute late walk into the lecture hall.
Freshers, stop putting pictures of the main building on your Snapchat and Insta stories
We get it, you go to Cardiff University. It's a Russell Group uni. It's a sunny day. Main building is so old, vintage, gothic and piff. Your whole life has lead up to you being blessed to view this building everyday.
Lads keep wearing puffer jackets, sliders with socks and a baseball cap to lectures
It's a classic combo. Cardiff Uni lad starter pack: North face puffer, Nike sliders, Nike cap and fake raybans from Magaluf. Rah.
So there's a few new years resolutions to make, and tbh if you aren't blowing your loan in the SU, or at least taking one picture of Main building for your insta who even are you?
But whatever, have a good year shag x