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News Column Week One: STI Bops, Bad Boys and Porter Patrol

Ahhh welcome back to Cambridge


STI bop at Trinity

The Trinity welfare officers ran an STI bop this week, where students who took a free gonorrhoea and chlamydia test also got a free drink.

Shout out to Trinity students for looking after their sexual health whilst throwing shapes on the dancefloor. And I thought my Friday night was fun.

Men banned from Medwards Library

For exam term, no male students are allowed in the Medwards Library as guests. Librarians will now be monitoring who comes in and kicking out intruders. Uh oh.

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You may ban our guests, but you will never stop our procrastination…

Children come to play with Magdalene students

The Magdalene chaplain will be organising weekly sessions in the fellows’ garden for her children to come and play with students of the college.

This may well be a fun revision break for students (who doesn’t want to pretend that they’re five years old again?!), or for those who don’t like children, it will make them actually want to return to a quiet library and work. Winner.

King’s Parade appreciates the struggle

This flagstone has been spotted on King's Parade. Finally a pavement that understands me.

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(photo credit: Sophie Coldicott)

Foxes taking over Cambridge colleges

There are now resident foxes at John’s, Emma and Jesus. Whilst all pose a serious threat to the community, the ones at Emma are particularly feral.

Not only has an Emma fox ATTACKED a member of the Tab team (read about it here), but they have also killed several hens. For many students, their Cambridge education now includes the answer to the infamous question ‘what does the fox say?’

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Porter patrol at Homerton

From now until exams are over, Homerton halls are on ‘quiet time’. Porters are regularly patrolling the college halls to control noise levels.

Let’s be real though, as exams grow nearer the only loud noise coming from students’ bedrooms will be the sound of our tears.

Bad boys in Clare

Clare College catering staff know that everybody loves a bad boy, so this week they decided to give it to students in the form of the bad boy burger. Sure, we all claim to want a good burger, but when push comes to shove we simply cannot resist that bad bad meat.

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Not only the baddest, but also the cheapest item on the menu. Can this burger get any better? (photo credits: Flora Bowen)

LGBT flower flag failure at Trinity

Trinity attempted to show their support for the LGBT community by planting flowers in the shape and colours of the LGBT flag. However, they used the wrong colours, and many of the flowers have either not bloomed or died in the meantime.

Some students have expressed their frustration with the affair, especially given that Trinity released an article about the flowers (see here) and have reportedly emphasised its representative ‘success’ to members of the college.

Erasmus building ‘the ugliest in Cambridge’

Students have overheard punt tour guides pointing out the Queens' Erasmus building as a very special landmark: the ‘ugliest building in Cambridge’. This is a true honour for the college.

True beauty is in the eye of the beholder. (photo source x, license y)

Magdalene students FORCED to do an all nighter

Magdalene students were not so happy due to loud drilling taking place outside Cambridge wine merchants until 5 O’ clock in the morning last Friday.

For those with sleep schedules as messed up as mine, this made little difference. However, on behalf of those normal students who like to sleep at a normal hour, this was very disruptive. The college eventually complained and the workmen had to stop. Oh dear.

(Cover photos: walkie talkie source x, license y. Sexual health sign source x, license y)