TAB HACKS: How to get the most out of your RAG BLIND DATE form
My type on paper? Times New Roman
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, which means it’s that time of year again for us singletons to feel even more desperate and alone than we do during the rest of the year. Mint.
But fear not fellow Cantabs, for RAG blind date has got our backs. Their comprehensive scientific application process can help YOU find your perfect match this February, and here’s how to get the best results out of your form:
Question: favourite reality TV show to watch with your date?
This question is CRUCIAL in determining the kind of person you’ll be matched with…
Looking for marriage material? Put Great British Bake Off. Wanting a bit of a sugar daddy? The Apprentice. Looking for someone who’s trashy but, like, in a good way? Love Island. Ready to settle down and have kids? Try Teen Mom.
Question: what’s your ideal first date location?
This says a lot about the kind of thing you like to do for fun, and you want to be matched with someone on the same wavelength as you. SO…
If you’re a cheap and cheerful dater (we’re all students. It’s okay), Spoons. You could even put danger Spoons if you like to get a little bit freaky at the weekends. Oh yeah.
Or if you’re a hopeless romantic at heart, the only answer you should put is La Gardenia Restaurant. Candle lighting, silver service, cheesy chips- nothing says romance quite like it.
Or for the crazy rowers out there, why not put an erg sesh at the gym as your answer? Find someone who likes to get as sweaty as you do at 6am every morning…mmmm. And if you’re a mathmo , then the best answer for you here is probably the library. Honesty is key.
Question: what is your type on paper? (in three words)
So here you need to surmise the crucial things you are looking for in a partner. No pressure. Here’s some adjectives to give you inspo: Funny, confident, shy, nerdy, quiet, talkative, sexy (oioi), kind, caring, considerate, sarcastic, banterous (yes this is a word ), hardworking, interesting, knowshowtodrive , fashionable, theatrical, artistic, scientific, gymlad, edgy, hippy, indie, alternative, fiat500, cultured, trashy (in a good way), exciting, fun, unique.
Question: what bushtucker trial would you attempt to impress your date?
Your answer here says a lot about your personality, and will be SCRUTINISED to match you with someone you suit. So think carefully.
If you see yourself as being a bit, erm, kinky, then eating raw kangaroo balls would be the best option for you. Or, if you’d want to show off just how hard you are, maybe put being in a box with snakes, rats or (if you’re extra badass) creepy crawlies as your answer. Hardcore mate.
Anyone else still slightly traumatised by Ferne McCann’s trial where she had to eat a bull’s penis and a spider? If you’re willing to go all the way to wow that special someone, then this is what you should put as your answer. Equally, if you find someone who is willing to do this just to impress you, marry them.
Question: which Queer Eye makeover would you choose before your date?
What you answer here is important, as it will match you with someone in terms of the area in life in which you are both most dysfunctional. And they say romance is dead…
Beauty – If your trim is a bit dead, if your makeup isn’t especially fleeky, or if your main ‘self care’ technique is to use deodorant, then this is the makeover you would need. Tick this box and find someone as neglectful as you in the beauty department.
Cooking- If you live off meal deals, takeaways and sharer packs of crisps, this is the makeover you would need. Ticking this box will help you in your quest to find that special someone who appreciates the fine art of microwave cooking as much as you do.
Wardrobe- So if fashion isn’t really your thing and you’re happy to cut about campus in the jumper your gran bought you for Christmas 2012 (which is obviously fantastic), then this is the makeover for you. Ticking this box will match you with someone as untrendy and carefree as yourself. Goals.
Hopefully this nifty guide has given you some pointers when it comes to filling in your RAG blind date form. So what are you waiting for? Go and fill out that sheet fellow singletons, and let the pickle see the onion.