Chaos on the river as novice coxes piss off boathouse owners

Residents complain about how its “oreful” that they can’t “catch” a wink of sleep

It’s that time of year again. Out with the experienced third year coxes and in with the eager freshers.

But this time they have caused outrage to local houseboat owners by being accused of creating a backlog of rowing boats along the River Cam.

The ensuing raucous left many boathouse owners disgruntled by their unexpected early morning start yesterday.

Asking for trouble

A letter by boathouse owners Geoff and Andie Page has been sent to the Cambridge University Combined Boats Club (CUCBC) calling for action to reduce the noise levels on a more regular basis.

Geoff Page commented: “I wish to bring to your attention the noise from coaches shouting at crews over residential boats and some coxes using amplified instructions before 7.30am which is causing a nuisance.

A pictoral depiction of the backlog


“This morning the river was in chaos and rowing eights were unable to move for long periods of time which clearly exacerbated the matter.

“The boats were unable to move because they are novice crews and in some (all?) novice coxes trying to navigate whilst earlier crews were attempting to return upstream to their boathouses.”

The Wash – some downsizing might be in order

It is unclear what the cause of the traffic jam on Tuesday was, but the blame has been firmly placed on the “novice” coxes involved.

In response to the furore, a spokesman for CUCBC said: “We take seriously any breaches of our rules and can punish crews who break them. At the start of each term all crews are made aware of the need to keep noise to a minimum and their responsibility to be considerate to other river users and those living close to the water.

“We will ask all college captains to remind their crews of the rules; particularly those relating to early morning outings.”

The Tab cannot confirm that no animals were harmed in the making of this chaos.