PEMBROKEN: Students in crisis as Pembroke loses its heating

Cambridge’s third oldest college lives up to its reputation


Chaos struck Pembroke this week as a heating failure plunged many of the students into a frost-bound nightmare that just wouldn’t stop.

With temperatures dropping to a Siberian 4 degrees Celsius, many found themselves layering up for what may be the worst heating related catastrophe in the college’s history.

While the old buildings of the college are famed for their chilly temperature, the bursting of a hot water pipe sent many into rapid decline. Those passing the Junior Parlour in the early hours of Friday witnessed the torrent of boiling water spilling onto ground outside.

Siberia? No. Pembroke.

Siberia? No. Pembroke.

A third year lawyer, one of the students to see the devastation, told The Tab: “I put my finger in, and it was a tea-like temperature”. Whether this was that of freshly boiled or lukewarm tea is unknown.

Many of the college’s staff, including the porters, were seen rushing around the college looking harried and stressed, in a futile attempt to repair the problem.

The loss of the heating to the library reportedly sent the librarian into “a wintry delirium”.

Although initially reluctant to talk to The Tab, the Porter’s Lodge gave the following unusually austere statement: “Its unfortunate that these things happen but the staff have been working all day trying to fix it and are supplying portable heaters to all affected students.”

Solemn: a fresher caught up in the crisis

Solemn: a fresher caught up in the crisis

Aman Sahota, a first year architect, was forced to take drastic measures to avoid potential hypothermia.

“I slept with a jumper and socks on,” he told The Tab, before going on to add: “it was fucking chilly… no, wait, I can’t swear, my mum reads this, can we do that again?’

The college’s modern accommodation block, Foundress Court, remained fully operational throughout the incident.

It is unknown as to whether the college plans to provide compensation for lost hours of study and life.