The Tab’s end of year quiz

RACHEL TOOKEY gives 2014 the obituary it deserves

Cambridge New Year Quiz Sachin Parathalingam

1. Which Fresher ball created the most Internet spam this Michaelmas?

a.     Marshalls Ball

b.     Union Fresher’s Ball

c.     Sachin Parathalingam’s Room Party

Omg have you heard about the Union?

Correct answer is C. Sachin’s Room Party. This wild, invite only party will go down in spammiest event of 2014, and cost only £300 a ticket + your first born child.

2. Which famous public speaking society hosted Morgan Freeman and Sir Ian McKellen?
a.     The Oxford Union Society

b.     The Tab Comments Section

c.     The Cambridge Union Society
Correct answer is A. The Oxford Union Society. GDBO. Downey Jr did make up for it a bit though…


3. Which of these was performed at the ADC this term?
a.     Plays

b.     Rolls of film pulled out of a vagina and anus

c.     Abortion Debate
Correct answer is A. Plays. The rolls of film pulled out of an anus and a vagina  happened in Judith Wilson Studio. And the abortion debate happened (but actually didn’t) in Oxford. The ADC should really try to up its game.

It’s a theatre

4. Which month is Bridgemas in?
a.     Week 8

b.     Lettuce

c.     November
Correct answer is B. Lettuce. Not because it’s right necessarily, but because ‘B’ hasn’t been the correct answer yet, so it’s only fair.


5. Which famous alumni of Cambridge did something famous?
a.     All of them

b.     Stephen Fry

c.     The funny ones
Correct answer is David Mitchell (not sure what he’s actually done this year, but I’m sure it was great) Emma Thompson, Andy Murray (alright, he didn’t even go here but he should have). And a few others. I personally plan to fade into oblivion after I graduate, but I look forward to seeing all my Art student friends on BB2 and writing for the Guardian.6. How much work have you been doing over the Christmas holidays?
a.     25 hours a day

b.     Sleep counts right?

c.     I have read the dictionary
Correct answer is d- fuck off it’s the holidays.


7. Are you a wanker?
a.     Yes

b.     No

c.     All of the above
Correct answer is none of the above.



How did you do?

If you got between….

1-2 Correct: You’re a New Year’s Baby. It’s not going too well, is it? Get off this quiz, go and finish your holiday work.

A-G: You’re a…, well, okay then! You like to think outside the box.

5-7: You’re a Fellow, you genius you. You starred first and honours student you. Your prize is nothing.

8-10: You’re an idiot – learn to count.