Christ’s JCR pres nominee battles hypnotist with hilarious manifesto

BJ Daley to take on hypotist in the presidential race

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The Tab hereby officially endorses BJ Daley for Christ’s JCR presidential elections today.

This dude is mixing things up a bit in the minefield that is student politics.

Vote material

Vote material

He promises to:

  • Subsidise pints.  Daley explains “using the mandate from the people… [for] every pint purchased the purchaser receives £1 in return.”
  • Put freshers’ reps on trial “for crimes against freshers’ week.”
  • Save money by “personally (and without fee) providing welfare via personal counselling.”
  • Introduce weekly prinks in the Presidential Suite.
  • Buy peacocks for the Fellows’ Garden and bring in “barbecues and jacuzzis etc.”
  • Give the rowing budget to charity.
Working flat out (gettit?) for your vote

Working flat out for your vote

Daley was reluctant to speak to The Tab due to the “sanctions” imposed if he actively campaigns.

But groupie Danyal Hasan was quietly confident that “the voice of the people [will be] heard.”

Daley does have a competitor: fellow Christ’s student and notorious hypnotist, Kyle Fearn.

Fearn told The Tab: “If I were running for the election as a Hypnotist, that’s fine. I’m not.”

He also accused us of attacking “[his] professional status on the back of a non-related article.”

For such a notorious JCR – reinstating HP sauce at Hall is quite an achievement – this is a momentous event.

Polls open today, folks, so stir your inner passion, scurry to that polling booth and make your sweet I-don’t-give-a-fuck voice heard.

Vote Ben Daley.

 

This article was updated at 17:00 on 7th November to include Fearn’s accusation.