The Michaelmas Mary

Feeling a bit hungover this morning? In need of a change from that bi-weekly cherry VK?

bloody Mary Heinz lipids Michaelmas the bloody diary the crummy mary tomato juice Twerking

And so the Bloody Mary arrives triumphantly as the only drink you should consider drinking this Michaelmas. It posits you fiery, sanguine and historically grounded.

Here are some variations on a theme:

The Traditional Mary

Don’t be afraid to stick to the classic. She might be getting on but she still packs a punch. Add tomato juice, spices and celery to a vat of vodka and you’re away. To enjoy in the bath or to digest daintily whilst on the phone to your bank manager.


The Tradition Mary is at her most majestic in the tub

The Hungry Mary

Turn your drink into your dinner, substituting tomato juice for the heartier consistency of Heinz and reversing your vodka back into potatoes.


Beanz meanz Heinz, yet Heinz means Hungry Mary?

The Bloody Dairy

Get over yourself and tip half a tub of the best natural Greek in with your tomato juice, stirring for consistency with the traditional stick of celery. Rich in lipids and antioxidants, this will keep you essay fit after a night of desperately twerking yourself popular.

greek yog

Get Mary to the Greek with a base of full fat.

The Crummy Mary

One to share with friends and therefore one to make you friends. Prepare in a large pot, set in the middle of a circle of your corridor’s best pickings, and then watch in glee as everyone goes at it with their digestives. Not one for phobics of the double-dip.


(Some readers may find this offensive)

Do not underestimate the Bloody Mary this Michaelmas. It might just become your weapon of choice.