Death by Chocolate
LEAF ARBUTHNOT gives us three chocolate-based Easter recipes that are guaranteed to thicken your thighs.
Easter is bloody great. Just as winter is outstaying its welcome, it swoops down on you like some sexy Spring-eagle, keen to claw at your face and show you a good time. Everyone loves Spring-eagles. Bring on the good times, Spring-eagle-friends.
As well as having religious significance and uniting family members that have possibly not seen each other since Christmas, Easter provides the excuse to get down to some serious cocoa consumption. Politely though I listen to people who say that Easter isn’t about chocolate, I secretly scoff. It just is. Though perhaps not exclusively.
So, here are three chocolate-based Easter recipes that are guaranteed to thicken your thighs. But if God wanted them to be less trunk-like, he’d, y’know, see to it.
1. Creme Egg Brownies
Halving crème eggs is thrilling.
In a large pan, melt 300g of milk chocolate. Remove from the heat and stir in 175g of sugar until melted, then 300g of caster sugar. When cool, beat in three eggs, two teaspoons of vanilla extract, 75g of plain flour and 75g of cocoa powder. Pour into a greaseproof paper-lined tin and place in the oven at 180 degrees. On a board, carefully slice in half six crème eggs. Take the brownies out after twenty minutes, and press the crème eggs into the mix. Bake again for 25 minutes.
2. Chocolate and Nutmeg Terrine
Good for dinner parties, not so much for cholesterol.
Melt 300g of dark chocolate. In a bowl, whip up 300 ml of double cream until thick, but still pourable. Add one teaspoon of nutmeg. Fold the melted chocolate into the cream bit by bit, trying to keep it as airy as possible.
Line a rectangular tin with two layers of clingfilm and pour the mixture into the tin. Refrigerate overnight. To serve, turn the tin upside down and remove the cling-film, then cover in grated white chocolate and/or pistachios.
In a small pan, warm 180ml of whole milk. Place in a small bowl and add one seven g sachet of yeast. Leave for ten minutes or until bubbly.
3. Chocolate Hot Cross Buns
In a large mixing bowl, place 100g of caster sugar, 500g of plain flour, two teaspoons of cinnamon, the zest of two oranges and 100g of butter. Mix into breadcrumbs. Add one beaten egg, the yeast slop and 150g of chocolate, broken into pieces, as well as 50g sultanas.
Knead into a dough for about 15 minutes. Leave to rise in a warm place for two hours. Then shape into small buns and place on a lined tray. While you’re waiting for them to rise a little more mix 100g of plain flour with 90 ml of water in a mug, along with50g icing sugar. Stir into a paste then place in a sandwich zip-up bag and cut the corner off. Pipe crosses onto the buns and leave to rise for another hour or so. Then oven them at 180 degrees for 30 minutes.
While it’s warming, heat 50g of caster sugar, 50 ml of water and a tablespoon of apricot jam. Once the buns are cooked and still very hot, glaze them with this mixture, with a paintbrush ideally, or your tongue. Ha, ha.
For more delectable inspiration from Leaf, go to http://londonetteinparis.tumblr.com/