Get Your Own Back

Gunge merchant Dave Benson Phillips pulls out of first tour date due to student hoax.

He’s a down and out gunge merchant, desperate to resurrect the past glories of hit nineties show Get Your Own Back. 

So spare a thought for telly legend Dave Benson Phillips, who fell victim to a student hoax on the first day of his UK tour.

The national treasure had to cancel the first day of his Mad March Offer – in which he planned to take his infamous gunge machine around the country for bargain prices – when it emerged his customers were taking the piss.

DBP prepares to gunge contentents

“Book Dave and his company for any works to be performed during the month of March 2013, add a naught (0, zero) on the end of the date, to get the price you pay!” explains his website.

But little did the children’s TV chief know that the students who booked him for £10 today were only joking.

A legend becomes a hoax victim

Dave Benson Phillips declined to comment, but his spokesman confirmed that the Mad March Offer closed on Valentine’s Day, meaning he has no way of booking something at the last minute.

A devastated DBP vented his frustration on Twitter.

Looking for sympathy on Twitter

Sadly, this isn’t the first time the talented presenter has fallen victim to a vicious hoax. Back in 2009, Internet trolls claimed he was presenting soft porn TV line Babestation, a role he denied.

It doesn’t look like DBP will be heading to Cambridge any time soon, although Pembroke’s bop organisers did attempt to book the gunge icon. They told The Tab: “It’s true that we were trying to get Dave along, he’d have been amazing, sadly it didn’t work out.”