Rosie Hore: Week 2

ROSIE HORE is here to lend some much needed advice.

11 year old birthday boyfriend Boys Leeds mario kart romney rosie hore vermin longtooth

This week, it’s my baby sister’s birthday.

Well, she’s not really a baby anymore. She’s turning 11 on Wednesday, and I’m not going to be there to witness it. My sister, during term-time, gets to be an only child and she bloody loves it.

My parents, the fourth time around, aren’t really that bothered so she’s left alone to juggle a hectic life of Mario Kart and building the odd den. Teachers love her, she can wrap anyone around her little finger and she rocks pyjamas at any time of the day.Basically, she’s a lot cooler than I am.

But 11 is old – which makes me feel really old. With the wisdom of age behind me, I thought I’d share some life advice for my baby sister, as she enters her second decade. I hope it’ll be of use to anyone with tweenie siblings or for those who, like me, still have some of these lessons to learn.

Here goes… Firstly, boys will still be gross for at least another 7 years, so it’ll save you a lot of hassle if you just avoid them altogether. I know you had a husband that one time on holiday, but you were right to dump him when he didn’t send you a Valentine’s card. Keep those high standards. And remember, when Mum makes your boyfriend stay zipped into a sleeping bag whilst he’s in your bed, she’s doing it because she loves you.

Don’t worry too much about being the best at everything. You’ll be just as happy at Leeds as you will at Cambridge, so relax and keep being hilarious. Like that note you slipped under my door 5 years ago that said “Dear Rosie, you better watch out, I will kill you”. Almost as scary as this:

Technology will have moved on by the time you’re 20. You’ll probably have an iPad 17 that can make you dinner. But remember: less will always be more on hashtags.

The tooth fairy and Father Christmas exist and don’t believe anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. It’s a complete coincidence they have the same handwriting.

Work hard. Call people out if they’re getting it wrong about you. Fight injustice and strive for world peace, obvs, because if anyone could shut up a Romney by rolling their eyes, it’s you.

And finally, don’t listen too much to your big sister, Rosie. She’s secretly trying to make you into a better version of her. Which is why my baby sister will wake up on her birthday morning, go downstairs, unwrap the big parcel from Cambridge and find a pint-sized dinosaur onesie…