Students in Pembroke have been warned not to confuse their ‘waste paper bin for a lavatory’ again.
Pembroke college library has been hit by a mysterious serial vomiter in recent weeks, the Tab can reveal.
Students received an email complaining that library staff had discovered that “an individual confused a waste paper bin for a lavatory” on three separate occasions this term.
Fortunately, it is understood that the email referred to a chunder-grad rather than a poo-stgraduate student.
The identity of the Pembroke Puker remains unknown and on each occasion he or she has done nothing to clean up the proceeds of their revomsion breaks.
Adam Lee, a 2nd year historian at the college was unimpressed. “This is a huge stinking pile of mess that should have been cleared up a long time ago”, he said.
Whether the serial spewer had been feeling the pressures of exam season or was staging a dirty protest against library staff is open to speculation.
Matthew McBride, a 2nd year land economist said, “To be sure, we’ve all vommed in a bin before, but three times? in the same place? that suggests real commitment.”
It is unknown whether the mystery culprit will strike again, but students will be hoping they follow library rules and take their conversation on the big white telephone outside.
As the library advised students: “If you need a break, take it outside the library”.