Josh Dickins

Throw Him A Bone: Ageing Anarchists Can’t Get It Up

Ageing anarchist Ian Bone’s protest went limp as only 12 middle-aged militants showed up.

Chunderachievers

Students in Pembroke have been warned not to confuse their ‘waste paper bin for a lavatory’ again.

Prof Sez Toff Image Just Doesn’t Fitz

The Master of Fitz slammed politically correct politicians for damaging Cambridge’s reputation.

Top Of The League And Having A Laugh

Cambridge has smashed its rivals, topping the Guardian’s University league tables for the second year.

JCR Prez Well Hung

Selwyn has passed a motion to ‘venerate’ its JCR president.

Bonkers Bone To Block Bumps

2000 anarchists are due to descend on the May Bumps next month in protest of Mr ASBO’s move.

Chinese Whispers: 100 Grand to Get You Into Oxbridge

Can’t get into Oxbridge? Here’s a way to win your entry. One thing: it costs 100K.

No Victories For Student Council Hopefuls

Students lose out in council elections amidst a low turnout.

Totally Punted

Cantabs are in uproar over a move by Cam Conservators to ban punting under the influence.

Emma Dilemma: Bashing Bishop Flees Fellows

The Archbish of Canterbury withdrew from the race to be Master of Emma in relation to his controversial stance on gay bishops.

Asbo-lute Shambles: Psycho Swan Not Going Anywhere

Rowers are raging as riverside terror and hate figure Mr Asbo is to stay in Cambridge for his own welfare.

Upper Class-Holes

Balliol College have a travel grant specifically for Old Etonians so they can get paid to study ‘poor people’.

Flipping The Bird: Mr ASBO Out

Mr ASBO’s reign of terror on the Cam could finally come to an end.

OUCA’s Out – Again

OUCA have been axed by Oxford University for failing to pay their bills.

Charlie Lyons Hits Big Time

Familiar Cantab Charlie Lyons has become huge and is now the star of car commercial.

Decanally Retentive

Deanings at St Hugh’s in Oxford have got out of hand: furious freshers are footing bills for over £1000.

Total Shit Ed’s

A plumbing failure at St Edmund’s has left residents, including young children, in frozen, unsanitary conditions.

Chaz Choppers to Cambridge

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles touch down at Girton to spread some Royal goodwill.

No Punt Intended

The punt wars ceasefire has ended, and the conflict is more violent than ever.