Theatre Guide Dog: Week 7

Theatre’s back and it’s eyeing you up aggressively on the street, breath heavy with post-exams cava. But it means well – all it wants is your money and attention (no changes there). Most of pre-Suicide Sunday Theatre (PSST) is the ADC trying to be funny, but there are also options for people who don’t like laughing.

Pretty Little Panic 14th-25th June

People all round the world will see this over the summer, which means there will probably be less ‘uni banter’ jokes than usual – a good thing. A bad thing is that this is a preview run, so you’ll be the test audiences that help them decide which are the lame jokes they need to cut.

ADC at 8  £5-8

Footlights Smoker 14th June

See last worry above and multiply. Regardless, this will still sell out before the mainshow despite being arguably worse and more expensive.

ADC at 11  £6-7

Armageddapocalypse 2.5: Armagedinburgh 15th-18th June

The first show, which prompted the only recorded instance of a Tab triple-review, destroyed eardrums and cynicism in more or less equal numbers, and now it’s back with even more films to take the piss out of. Hopefully it will mock, rather than embody, the rushed sequel archetype it presents itself as.

ADC at 11  £4-6

Carmen Elektra presents: Terrible Lips 17th June

Carmen Elektra’s last opera-plus got a rave review (apter than you think) from us so my puppy-like optimism is justified. Sci-fi dance opera has been underexplored in recent years so this is a welcome revival in a warehouse ironically doomed to death. To be honest, this is too complicated, and good, to be done justice in this petty kennel of an excerpt – just go.

Bike Polo Warehouse, 140 Newmarket St. at 7.30  £5

Rhinoceros 18th-21st June

Every character in this play except one turns into a rhinoceros. If that fact puts you off, nothing will redeem it. If it interests you, little will be capable of ruining it.

Red Lawns – Pembroke at 2  £5