Halloween’s Coming

Having double, double, toil and trouble over what to do for Halloween?  Well look no further.  Here is a rundown of the spooky going-ons in the Cambridge terror-tory for the rest of the week.

Wednesday 27th October:

If music is your thing, then Dreadzone will be playing at The Junction from 7pm. At good ol’Kambar, ArcSoc is throwing a party from 10pm, with lovely student-friendly prices for drinks…(What’s a ghost’s favourite drink?  Mali-boo…) If Kambar doesn’t do it for you, then Fez is having a Halloween special night…why didn’t the skeleton go to Fez?  Because he had no body to go with…So he checked the listings for Vue cinema and saw that Paranormal Activity 2 is showing this week.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SSc3bmdd8o

Thursday 28th October:

But before we get too carried away with all this partying, first things first, you need a great costume, and no, I don’t mean wearing a bin liner for a vampire cloak – it’s been done.  For something really special, then go to the Corpus Playroom from Thursday the 28th to Sunday the 31st between 2-5pm and you can rent a costume for only £5.  Absolute bargain. Stand-up comedian Chris Addison will be performing at The Junction at 8pm, but why don’t you take your ghoulfriend out for a night on the town?  How about Soul Tree with its Spooky-Theque night starting at 10pm?  Or how about a romantic moonlight punt trip down the River Styx?  And when I say River Styx, I actually mean the River Cam with Scudamore’s Halloween Ghost Tours,which guarantees to send shivers down your spine.

Chris Addison: Frightful (and looking frightened)

Friday 29th October:

Your daily horrorscope tells you to head over Museum of Zoology at 8pm for Carmen Elektra presents: Bonesong/Frankenstein, witch (eh) I’m sure will be amazing for just £3. There’s always the bops you can gatecrash: Jesus, Corpus Christi, Catz, and Homerton, which is a bit of a walk but great for exorcise…Anyway, for a bit of comedy, the Cambridge Union is holding its comedy Smoker, or if you want an actual comedian, then there’s Greg Davies of The Inbetweeners at The Junction from 8pm.  You could also hit Clare Cellars’ Vital Techniques, a dubstep duo consisting of brothers Antix and Vecta, starting at 9pm.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK71930phxk

Saturday 30th October:

Jeepers, creepers, suffering from a hangover yet?  Feeling the effects of an alcohol-soaked, spinning ‘Ed(gar Allen Poe – yep, I realize that’s a bit of a stretch).  Perhaps a spell at an acoustic folk evening at the Café Project down Jesus Lane will cure it. Beginning at 7pm, and with a suggested donation of £3 entrance fee, it’s a good alternative to the usual club night.  Leading comedy magician Pete Firman will be showcasing his usual gobsmacking tricks at The Junction from 8pm, and next door Jodie Harsh will be on the decks for a circus-themed club night, promising sideshow freaks and go-go dancers.  Read The Tab‘s interview with her here. The one and only 6ixth sense psychic Colin Fry will be gracing the Cambridge Corn Exchange with his presence, and for £21.50 a ticket, you have the chance of getting in touch with your dead goldfish from beyond the grave.  The Cambridge Union is holding a Halloween Murder Mystery Party, which sounds fantastic…prompting me to ask you what did the famous detective say when I told him a Halloween-related joke?…Sherlock Moans…

Sunday 31st October:

After a few days of hardcore partying I suppose you’ll be all Halloween’ed out by the time it’s Sunday.  You could check out Cambridge’s Got Talent to be held at the Cambridge Union from 7pm, and support (not without ridiculing them behind their backs) the best student acts the university has to offer.

THROW YOUR OWN?

Alternatively, if you have lenient porters and a good-sized abode, then you could throw your own spooky festivities.

Halloween themes

I always prefer the theme ‘dead celebrities’ – the more recent and unsavoury, the better.  Or the ‘Rocky Horror’ theme that gives anyone the excuse to turn up in corsets and suspenders, dancing to the Time Warp.  Although my personal favourite is ‘Spooky Roller Disco’ – grab your blades, head over to the park with your boombox and roller skate the night away to ‘Monster Mash’.

Costumes

There are plenty of charity shops in Cambridge, especially by Magdalene College and at the Grafton Centre, but if you’re really cash-strapped, then here are a few quick and easy suggestions:

– White trousers, a white shirt, a bowler hat and a false eyelash transforms you into one of Clockwork Orange’s droogs

– Appropriately placed leaves gathered from the college’s lawns allows you to become Adam or Eve for the night

– A couple of toilet rolls turns you into the most feared of mummies

– A white strappy dress covered in fake blood will make you the belle of the ball as Stephen King’s Carrie

– Grab a white boiler suit and splash fake blood all over it and you’ll give American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman a run for his money

– With a crown of leaves upon your head, wrap a white sheet around you with fake blood stains on the back and you’ll be the envy of Julius Caesar

– If you happen to be called Jack and have a cardboard box to spare then why not be a Jack-in-the-box

– Fake blood, a short dress and pom poms allows you to become that slutty cheerleader who always dies in slasher films.

Sorted, mate.

She’ll be next

Games

As for classic Halloween games, of course there’s apple-bobbing, Ouija boards (available from Amazon for a couple of pounds), pumpkin bowling (skittles or plastic bottles as substitutes), drunken musical chairs to the sounds of ‘Thriller’, and why don’t you play hide and seek around college chapels in the dead of night?  Just be careful of the porter(geist).  You have been gravely warned.

Food and drink

The BBC website has some very good cookery ideas for Halloween.

And as for drink, there’s always the classic cauldron fruit punch with a debatable amount of alcohol.  But to give your party a touch of class and elegance, then how about a ‘Vampire Kiss Martini’ (vodka in a martini glass, top with Champagne and pour a little Chamord over the back of a spoon to make it float), a ‘Ghostbuster Cocktail’ (pour peach schnapps and melon liqueur into a cocktail shaker with ice, and strain into a cocktail glass, adding a splash of Irish cream in the centre of the drink), or a ‘Jack O’Lantern’ (put cognac, orange juice, ginger ale, Grand Marnier into a shaker and strain into a lowball glass.  Float an orange wheel on top to make it extra special)?  For the non-drinkers, perhaps you can try ‘Witch’s Brew’ (apple juice in a pan, adding a cinnamon stick, cloves, orange zest and honey – heat gently and sieve).

Or if you don’t fancy all that party hassle, then cozy up with BBC iPlayer for a night of horror classics, including Night of the Living Dead, Black Sheep, and Halloween.  Turn off the lights, grab a slice of Pumpkin Pi (for the mathmos), and relax…but you may be wondering why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?…well…it’s because he had no guts…

I’m going to sign off now so you don’t have to endure more of this hellish Halloween pun-ishment.