The lowdown on Cambridge’s club uniforms- what to wear to fit in, stand out, or switch tribes.
Cambridge’s clubs may not be the thumping multi-floored delights one would normally associate with the name club, but nonetheless they provoke strong feeling in the average Cambridge student. Suggest to a Fez lover that they go to Life instead on a Sunday and you will be subjected to open hostility. And do not even attempt taking Cindies away from a Cinderella, it has been reported that some students need their double dose a week to survive. Like warring tribes these separate camps emerge and worship at their watering hole of choice. But how to distinguish between these tribes and avoid being subjected to death by stiletto for mentioning rival clubs? By their choice of war paint of course…
Wears: a dilapidated fancy dress costume, extra kudos for the home-made feel. The aim of the Cindies-goer is to leave a trail, Hansel and Gretel style, from college to Cindies made up of bits of lost costume. Tin foil is a must. Sacrifice comfort and peripheral vision to achieve that perfect robot costume.
Style influences: Whatever the theme of the swap was that they have just stumbled from.
Shop of choice: Party Mania
Accessorize with: curry stains from the Mahal. If they are really dedicated they will add phallic symbols scrawled over their body. (Cheap trick, marker pens only £1.99 at Smiths).
Wears: short, bright dress complete with cute lace/bow/button detail. They will inevitably bump into at least 3 girls wearing the same dress that night and a furious “grind off” may ensue. Especially if the other girl managed to get the Primark version for half the price.
Style influences: Cheryl Cole.
Shop of choice: River Island, New Look, Primark. Really any high street store as, as they will discover, they are all selling this dress.
Accessorize with: swept back hair blasted by the dry ice machine and appropriate startled expression. Why do they continue to employ maniacs and give them the power of the dry ice gun?
Wears: knock off vintage, floral tea dresses, and skinny jeans.
Style influences: Any t4 presenter or offspring of rockstar.
Shop of choice: Just something they picked up from a charity shop *coughTopshopcough*
Accessorize with: the ubiquitous flicky black eyeliner. It has been rumored that this is a tribute to their mystical goddess Alexa, not to be confused with the fallen angel Amy.
Wears: fur coat/hat/scarf (delete as appropriate). The fur seems to have mated over the Christmas holidays and come back to Cambridge in force.
Style influences: Pah! Influences, nothing so clichéd for the Kambar tribe.
Shop of choice: Jumble sales, grandmother’s attic, tramps. Remember this tribe’s main weapon of choice is the musty smell emanating from their clothing.
Accessorize with: a look of cool indifference and a scarf bought in Outer Mongolia on their gap year.