Are You Girton In Disguise?

Two teams, 30 angry men talk the talk before tomorrows match…

The lowest of low-blows rang out round the Jesus College pitches in Lent term last year, as Jesus took up their yearly past-time of trying to put the team many despise, but just as many grudgingly respect, back in their place. Cambridge’s most celebrated rugby rivalry is in full swing this year, as ever, and is far from friendly. Last year saw blasphemous chants, cynical tackles and controversial refereeing decisions as Jesus tried, and narrowly failed to land one home.

The first Jesus-John’s fixture of the season is always important – it indicates the standard we can expect of the first division, and whether we can expect a fight for the title. But just hours before, St. John’s players were unfazed as they barked out a flagrant disregard for their opponent’s runner up status last year; something sure to be mirrored by the two teams lack of respect for each others personal safety at 2:15pm tomorrow.

Asked if he was worried about the prospect of a Jesus challenge, John’s Vice-Captain Lloyd Rickerman replied “SJCRUFC’s biggest worry is that the Jesus Asian superstar is considerably better than ours”. Moreover squad members Adam Rimmer and Suroosh Madanipour assured The Tab that betting on the match was rife among the St. John’s student body. Though odds on Jesus were long, the only real question up for debate was “whether Jesus will start the game with uncontested scrums… or if they’ll crumble after five minutes”.

Asked for his opinion on the brash and assuming remarks, a Jesus supporter replied that given The Tab’s status as a serious, considered and reliable publication, he was shocked that we were giving “those Neanderthals” a platform, adding “you’re as bad as fucking question time”. Jesus flanker Jamie Miller had his sentiments to add, “I think it’ll be a tight contest, and the referee will do his usual thing of giving Johns the Manchester United treatment at the breakdown; letting them get away with blue murder, diving over the top, killing the ball, etc.”

As far as The Tab is concerned, for one team they’ll be broken hearts tomorrow; and hopefully some broken bones!