I’d rather be a Poly than a C***

Did you know that 85.6% of Oxford Brookes Students did not have the University down as their first UCAS choice?

No? Well that’s because I made it up. I’m lazy. I could have researched the correct figures but that would have reduced my Xbox time and left me without a vaguely amusing opening to the article.

Laziness is the reason I am at a Polytechnic University. During my A-Levels we had some decent weather so revision was reduced and going out was increased. I failed to get into Newcastle University and now I tell people that “I go to university in Oxford” but never actually specify to which establishment.

But having less academic worries allows you to spend less time in the library and more time in The Library (The Cowley Road’s second best pub). With pubs, clubs, strip-clubs and many other debauched establishments, Oxford is a fantastic place to go to University, and especially a University that will only ask for eight hours of your time per week.

For a guide on the club scene in Oxford check out Clubber Steve’s Nightlife Guide. And if you don’t know who the Clubber Steve is (where have you even been?) then make sure you check out his blog.

Little Steve also loves his sport, being a proud member of Oxford Brookes University Football Club. Great sportspeople are notoriously stupid, so at Brookes we have lots of great sportspeople!

You can join any sport imaginable. The Freshers’ and Sports Fair may have been and gone, with an entertainment value equivalent to watching the paint dry on the already overdue Chapel Street accommodation (see Not Finished, Inn Time), but The Tab is on hand to help. To find out who you should keep an eye out for, read Meet The Teams.

Societies are another great way of filling your time. My Brookes claim to fame is that my Father founded the Cheese Appreciation Society in 1982. But if Edam isn’t your jam, or Gouda doesn’t float your boat, there will be something else for you. From Glee Club to Tea Club, TV to LGBT, there’s something for everyone.

Brookes creates a fun atmosphere, has a social scene created and maintained by many amazing people; we might not be the brightest, but we can definitely handle our drink.

Anyway, do you really want to go to University with people who only talk about what their favourite charity shop is and which authors they would love to go punting with?

The point I am trying to make in this article, however badly, is not to waste time. Just because your University isn’t the best in the league tables doesn’t mean it can’t give you the best experience. The big bad world is not that far away so seize your chance now!

However, all my extra-curricular activities may cost me a decent-class degree; I might let you know but I probably won’t be bothered.