Bristol Uni students, here’s what Crocs you should buy based on your course
Sorry in advance to the Econ students
In the wake of the crocs frenzy at Bristol, you may have found yourself wondering which of their extensive line of rubber-soled fashion statements you should spend your hard-earned student loan on.
Worry not, The Bristol Tab has got you covered with our official guide to what crocs you should get based on your university course.
Geography: Camo Crocs
You might be disappointed to see such an obvious choice for Geography, but one thing I know about you is that you’re sick of people joking that all you do is colouring in, so you’d definitely overcompensate by buying these hideous things. You know, to prove you deserve that BSc.
Theatre and Performance Studies: Glitter Crocs
We all got sent crocs, I got red glitter, I am gunna be Dorothy for Halloween pic.twitter.com/yDth6lvBxt
— rivi (@ItsMeUrChef) June 9, 2021
You are probably loud, outgoing and a little bit obnoxious. These shoes probably remind you of when you played Dorothy in your school’s production of The Wizard of Oz, feeding into your chronic main character syndrome.
You feel the need to stand out more than anyone else in the room at any given time, hence the platform and glitter. Like this shoe, you’re not to everyone’s taste, but you don’t have to be – you’re an actor, darling!
English: Cloud Crocs
As an English student, your head is probably always in the clouds, so why not let your thoughts match your shoes? You’re definitely artsy and want to show that through a fun pair of crocs, but you don’t feel the need to stray too far from the original silhouette. I’ll probably catch you wearing these on Brandon Hill, reading a book that has definitely been ruined for you in an overanalytical lecture.
Liberal Arts: Lightning McQueen Crocs
— TheMulattoPrince⚪ (@mulatto_prince) June 14, 2021
The perfect out-of-the-box shoe for an out-of-the-box degree. You definitely don’t take yourself too seriously, and only you could cut about Bristol in Lightning McQueen Crocs. You’ve probably never even seen Cars, but for you that’s just part of the charm.
These Crocs are actually only available in kids and junior’s sizes, so the chances of you being able to fit into them are just as low as the chances of you getting a job with a Liberal Arts degree. Fitting, right?
Classics: Baya Crocs
If you see me cutting about Bristol hungover in my baya crocs… mind ur business x pic.twitter.com/vmXGVt1kIf
— The Bristol Tab (@TheBristolTab) June 15, 2021
For the sole reason that everyone thinks they’re really boring and nobody knows they exist. Slightly less practical than the classic Croc with its extra holes, this croc also works as an allegory for the impracticality of trying to get a job with a Classical Studies degree.
Economics: these god awful Crocs (Neria Pro II)
Every Econ student’s dream, of course, is to be the CEO of a Santander branch or something equally passionless. Therefore, these shoes from the ‘Crocs at work’ collection are perfect for them. They really capture the essence of the Econ student at a party that will spend 15 minutes lecturing you about the stock market.
History: Purple platform Crocs
Oh, History. You are so determined to prove that you’re edgy since unlike a lot of the other humanities, your degree doesn’t say that for you. You’re almost definitely private-school educated and have some extra cash to splash, so these chunky, more expensive clogs are perfect for you.
You totally have to overcompensate for taking what is widely believed to be a boring degree with obnoxious, brightly-coloured shoes to prove you’re fun at parties. And I love you for that.
Medicine: Aqua Crocs
The classic croc can be seen squeaking against lab and hospital floors, and given the slightly less cold and mathematical nature of Medicine against Physics or Chemistry, I feel like you’d don a brightly-coloured pair and dress them up with lots of Jibbitz.