We met Stoke Bishop’s iconic Instagram page to find out what freshers have been up to
They describe themselves as ‘literally just a normal person… with extra good chat’
Welcome to the Dystopian Universe that is Stoke Bishop, where the girls wear their Vivienne Westwood necklaces even whilst they’re going for a run and doing drugs on a weekday is standard procedure.
Stoke Bishop seems to attract a specific type of fresher, and whether you like it or not, you’ll catch yourself slipping into the insanity of this godforsaken place. This has only been amplified by the fact that Covid has had us cooped up in our accommodation for most of first year, descending into cabin fever.
One person who has documented it all is @overheardinstokebishop. We spoke to the person behind the iconic account that posts the best quotes overheard in Stokey B to find out what freshers have really been up to this year. They might tell their parents they’ve been busy studying and focusing on their degree but from the posts we’re about to show you, it seems like anything but that.
We got in touch with the gossip girl of our residences, who claimed that they were “stoked bishop” to cooperate, so we asked a few questions about the inspiration behind the account and here’s the lowdown.
The account was born “just after freshers as procrastination” we’re told. “My mate said something jokes so I started writing down stuff I heard. I was worried at first it was a shit idea and would get no followers, that’s why I kept it anonymous”.
The enigmatic character behind the account seems to enjoy the anonymity; when asked if they’ll ever reveal their identity, they said: “I don’t know if I have messed around too much on the account to bait myself out, it’s funny fucking with people who don’t know it’s me”.
And it appears we can continue to enjoy the excellent content provided for the foreseeable future, after @overheardinstokebishop informed us of the plans for the account following the end of the year. “I think I will be taking applications from freshers who think they’re hard enough or I will change it to ‘overheard in Redland’ but I dunno because people might not be as funny in second year”.
“Also its not really about who runs it, its about the people of Stoke Bishop, everyone is the owner of the account. Jesus would be nothing without his 2.5k followers”.
Truly the people’s poet of our residence; they describe themselves as “literally just a normal person… with extra good chat”. This account is so mysterious and complex and I’ll never fully understand them.
Without further ado, here are the finest moments from the account.
1. Simply had to put this one #1 because I sent it in after it was said by my own excellent flatmate
2. This one ranks so highly because it’s just such a painfully accurate depiction of the severely distorted body clocks that we’ve all adopted
3. Similar energy to the Minecraft bong rip; alluding to all our inner children
4. Happens to the best of us, hun
5. Roadman but still respectful to women, you love to see it
6. Undoubtedly heard in Wills
7. Representing the nitty nature of Bristol but also the love of good cause and recycling. Drugs, but make it wholesome
8. I have no idea why this is so funny. Living in Stoke Bishop has destroyed my humour
9. If this isn’t a sign of the times, I don’t know what is
10. Big up the west country. Also note that even the voice on the U1 buses is in a Bristolian accent
“Durdham mosh to Mr. Brightside is not okay”
“If you can’t look after your ket how are you going to look after your snail?”
“Would rather have chlamydia than be boring”
“This is going to be the first Christmas I remember at home, we always spend it skiing”
“Can you just quickly top up my mullet?”
The North Village may truly be nuts, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.