Fight Night 2016: Which subject is the toughest?
Float like a butterfly, study like a bee
You might be thinking, yes! This is just what I need to brighten my miserable day – although I’m afraid if you are here to read an article filled with hilarious analogies and anecdotes about relative academic difficulty of subjects then you are mistaken.
In honour of Bristol fight night we decided to establish which subject made you the toughest physically and emotionally. Because face it, if there is anything you want from the Tab it Is a generic ‘which duh duh duh is your duh’ article. So strap on your ironic reading glasses and your metaphysical boxing gloves and join us for an adventure I can only describe as mediocre.
The fight night is on next Friday and I’m told its going to be something. You got that right. We all know the Oxford dictionary defines something as “a thing that is unspecified or unknown.”
But guess what – click here and you will be enlightened and become part of the Bristol society of the biggest display of testosterone.
Anyway let’s get on with the hilarious comparisons.
Physics (the science one)
So right off the bat my ironic article seems to be having very large holes in it (not in a dodgy way) in a black hole way – ha brought it back to physics. Anyway that was the precursor to the jokes, so onward we go.
Firstly, physics students really understand forces, like it’s their life. Do you know how to throw a perfect punch? Neither does a physics student, but they can ticker tape the hell out of that shit.
Secondly, in a build up to a big fight, boxers tend to swear off physical intimacy with their relevant partners – this is not an issue for physics students.
Finally, I can’t think of another, come back to me.
Engineering (all of them, they are kind of the same)
Oh great, this one makes a smidge more sense, well about as much sense as one of these generalisation articles can be. Although, engineering students tend to be an argumentative bunch, so let’s see if we can build some bridges between them. That was an engineer pun.
Firstly, they lift things – like physical things – like planes and bridges and laptops and graphs and cheesy rolls.
Secondly, in a build up to a big fight, boxers tend to swear off physical intimacy with their relevant partners – this is not an issue for engineering students. Yes, I used it twice, vent your anger in the comments section.
Finally, despite not fully knowing what they do on their courses, I’m going to assume they weld things, it gets hot, like lots of people – welding – metal, in rooms – together (not in a dodgy way)
Drama (or the other waste of daddy’s money subjects)
Well if you are doing drama then you probably prefer physical movement than intellectual consideration. Thus, you have the advantage over pasty, hibernating arts students. Seriously we spend so much time inside, the warm kiss of the suns rays is like a distant relative.
Firstly, do you know an aboriginal war dance? Yes? Well that’s weird but good for you for keeping up with ancient Australian culture – it is an important issue.
Anyway drama students love doing that Haka stuff. And if the geographical inconsistency of my analogy annoys you then vent in the comments – or join the tab – we need writers – like seriously – I’m writing about am article assessing which subject makes you tough… my soul has been lost to the ironic Tab gods.
Secondly, in a build up to a big fight, boxers tend to swear off physical intimacy with their relevant partners – this is not an issue for drama students. Now I have to apologise as this stereotype is not apt to drama students, but I have an essay tomorrow so what the hell.
Finally, the drama student has sometimes been trained towards the role of a superhero – and while it is more likely drama students will work in supermarkets than be superheroes it is nice they are prepared.
Medicine (the real vocational one)
Second last one, almost there, it’s like the ending of The Lord of the Rings, soon we will be sailing off to the undying lands, with the sweet and supple tones of Howard Shore – lulling us into a sweet and relaxing sleep. Anyway I’m off track – medics am I right?
Firstly, have you seen Kill Bill? It’s got like some pressure point shit in it. If anyone knows what part of the body will mess you up, it’s a medic.
Secondly, in a build up to a big fight, boxers tend to swear off physical intimacy with their relevant partners – this is not an issue for medical students. No seriously this time, have you seen these contract changes, in a couple of years they have no time off at all – it’s kind of messed up.
Finally, dem drugs y’all – if anyone can get jacked off dem roids quickly, efficiency, and thankfully in a controlled and organised way, it’s a medic.
Also diuretics, but that’s a shit joke.
History (or generic arts degrees)
Now who would ever describe a history student as tough. The answer is me because I’m writing an article about it (and this guy) – so I kind of have to argue it… yay. Anyway down to brass tax, why is history tough or hard depend on your drive for innuendo related humour.
Firstly, no contact hours = more time for those sweet sweet sweet gainz. I’m not talkin academic gainz, but muscle gainz, GAINZ.
Secondly, in a build up to a big fight, boxers tend to swear off physical intimacy with their relevant partners – this is not an issue for History students. They don’t know anyone… forever alone.
Finally, let’s face it you don’t care anymore so whatever, books = heavy am I right?