Absolutely everything you’ll need to survive halls

You’ve confirmed your place, and now you’ve had your accommodation offer.

Your mum is stocking up on the “essentials”, but it’s not pots and pans you should be concerned about. Whether you’re in Maple or Tennis Courts, there’s a whole load of stuff the prospectus doesn’t tell you to bring –– but if you want any chance of fitting in, you should probably sneak them in your case.

Mason

Terrified of leaving the nest and being thrown into the hideous world of shared bathrooms, Mason caught your eye, and chances are mummy and daddy are splashing out for this luxurious first year.

Oh yah yah, we’re so thrilled to be in Mason

A Jack Wills gilet is essential –– a staple piece in any Mason uniform –– as are your Hunter wellies which will be your companion during Vale Fest. Rooms must be adorned with token gap year memorabilia, be it a hand printed elephant sarong from your full moon party in Thailand, or a small slice of Peruvian heritage: “Don’t you know it’s genuine Alpaca wool from the foothills of Machu Picchu, darling.”

Finally, arm yourselves with a good sense of humour to survive the endless mockery you will receive. But you will be the one having the last laugh when temperatures drop and you’re snug in your room, while the riff-raff are freezing outside.

Shackleton

First of all let us congratulate you on your selection skills, as you already know Shackleton’s proximity to Infusion means clothes are a thing of the past.

Just a quiet one

Bring some presentable yet cosy pyjamas: cute ironic pug love t-shirts are totally acceptable. But pack carefully, as a pully system might be needed to tackle the incredible amount of stairs which face you on move in day. You might also want to invest in some harnesses to make the drunken climb a bit more feasible.

Finally, don’t forget to learn every single chant you can find about Mason. You made the choice, now celebrate it. We’ll never know why Shackleton manages to escape the posho vibe, but go with it and make sure you let every Masoner know you are way more street than any of them.

Liberty: Court and Garden

“No, but seriously I applied for all the Vale accommodation, I hadn’t even heard of Liberty Court.”

This is the mantra of your first year. Be prepared to answer a never ending set of questions over where your halls are and why the hell you decided to live there. Can it be suggested you buy a sturdy pair of walking boots, as the trek towards campus is a daunting one at times, or even for a quick hop over to the Vale. Be prepared to have a map handy on move-in day, because even the RAs have no idea where the hell your halls are. Does anybody really?

They even look like aliens they’re so far away

Mission

Tennis Courts

It’s 4am in January and all you want to do is get home asap. The warm hallowed halls of Tennis Courts are calling for you and the location to Fab is a dream.

Bring as many pots and pans as you can, because how many times are you going to make the trip all the way up to Shackelton for Infusion food? A lack of shame is also preferable. You opted for true university living, which means sharing a bathroom with four other grimy members of the public, hair clogging up the drain and mildew on the walls. It will make you appreciate the granite surfaces of home just that little bit more.

Maple Bank

Either your parents hate you, or you’ve heard a rumour the best party life can be found in one halls only. Don’t be put off by its slight resemblance to a prison, but before arriving invest in some serious cleaning supplies. Let’s be honest, that toilet hasn’t been cleaned in years and the mould is already starting to appear on the shower.

Thermals are never a bad shout since it can be absolutely freezing, and slippers and hats also come in handy for the inevitable 5am fire alarm. You’ll be spending most of the year in fluorescent pink, and once you’ve survived a year in the Bank, you know you’ll be ready for anything.